‘shshallupdates’ account throne passed on


Graphic by Nina Bowens '25

‘shshallupdates’ returns and so does the mystery of who’s behind the screen.

*name of account owner has been changed to ensure anonymity 

All summer, Staples students have been anxiously waiting on the edge of a cliff. It’s rocky, slippery and steep, and filled with anticipation. Finally, just as they were falling over the edge, upwards of 800 students got the notification, a simple “did ya miss me?” post — the parachute saving them from certain death.

The mystery of who was running the “shshallupdates” twitter and instagram accounts – a collection of humorous posts that is student run – was solved with one face reveal last June… or so we all thought. In the post, previous account owner Emily Desser ’22 revealed her identity, posted goodbye and began her college life at NYU Tisch. So who has been keeping the community updated on the weird smells since Desser left?

Desser, who still keeps up with the account, explained she knew exactly who to choose when it came to passing on her legacy. The new account runner is someone who has been with her since the very start. They knew her true identity and even collaborated with her all throughout last year. 

“The choice was always obvious to me,” Desser said. “ Staples High School, I assure you, you’re in fantastic hands.”

But just exactly who is it? The only clues given are the periodical posts and stories.

It could be you, or whoever you’re sitting next to, someone you pass in the hall just long enough to make horrendously awkward eye contact with. But… that’s a story for another time. XO, shshallupdates.

— Emily Desser ’22

“Did ya miss me?” *Jordan first posted on Aug. 30. The response was 200 likes from their biggest fans.

The sarcastic jokes, the daily updates and the relatable comments pop up on student’s feeds, sporadically bringing a smile to their faces throughout the week. It’s been missed over the summer, according to Charlotte Walsh ’25, who is one of the account’s active followers. 

“The hall updates literally make my day and it also adds to the fun of not knowing who runs the account,” Walsh said. “I missed reading them during summer break and I’m glad the account has returned.”

Jordan typically posts when they see or hear something interesting, but they don’t have a specific schedule. Regardless, their 800 followers (and counting!) remain on the edge of their seats waiting for the next post, flooding them with up to almost 400 likes. This year, they aim to ease the stress radiating in the hallways. 

“My goal for this account is to be relatable to the student body,” Jordan said. “Whether it be through a highlight of the school day, or the temperature of my classroom, I try to humorously relate to everyone.”

At the end of the year, Jordan claims they plan to post a face reveal, potentially triggering laughs, tears or surprise, but definitely closure. Per tradition, they will hand over the reins to someone new. Even Desser said she may have her own ideas as to who should be appointed to the shshallupdates throne. 

“It could be you, or whoever you’re sitting next to, someone you pass in the hall just long enough to make horrendously awkward eye contact with,” Desser said. “But… that’s a story for another time. XO, shshallupdates.”