Post-Season depression


It is a Monday afternoon and walking straight to my car after the last bell rings worries me. I walk out of the cafeteria doors nonchalantly, but deep inside I have no idea what I’m going to be doing after school.

My feet yearn to be wearing my cheerleading shoes one last time, but the season has come to a close and they are no longer needed. There is no need to stress about when I’ll be starting my homework, or when I can make plans with friends either, since I have unlimited time during the day now.

I find myself getting home and using that unlimited time in disastrous ways. I go through 20 episodes of Gossip Girl and Friday Night Lights before I realize four hours have passed and I have accomplished almost nothing. I tell myself I’ll clean my room or organize my closet and drawers. Instead, I end up browsing through Facebook for two hours, my clothes still laying on the floor and my closet doors sprawled opened, almost as if they’re taunting me about not cleaning it like I said I would.

Once a season sport is over, you tell yourself you’ll be productive and get things done. Your grades will improve tremendously, you’ll spend your time at the gym working out, and you’ll eat healthier foods in the meantime since you won’t be doing your sport per usual. Wrong. None of these things end up happening.

The only thing that happens after a season sport is over is denial. I know I would do anything and everything to be able to wear your uniform just one last time, even though I’ve complained about how ugly it was.

While I’m procrastinating and searching random things on youtube, I find myself landing on competition videos of high school cheerleaders. I reminisce on past seasons, wishing I could turn back and redo routines.

And I would certainly do anything to be on a team with my friends one last time. I dream about being on the mat one last time. Instead, I lay in bed, accomplishing  absolutely nothing, an activity that will never suffice compared to the excellence of a season sport.