Who’s Joe? The question puzzling Westport voters

Jack Dennison '21

November 13, 2019

Finding the secret to advertising clubs

Jack Dennison '21 and Natalie Bandura '22

October 7, 2019

The quest to find the name of the new superintendent

Jack Dennison '21, Paper sports editor

June 7, 2019

Satire: How to scan a QR code

Jack Dennison '21 and Andreas Lolis '21

January 16, 2019

SATIRE: ‘The Klein Challenge’ must be witchcraft

Katie Howard '19

October 17, 2018

Ah, Staples.  It’s the magnum opus of public high school education. We have dominated almost every field a high school is capable of: theater, the arts and STEM. This is simply a testament to Staples’ overarching ability to achieve. We similarly excel in athletics. In years past, Staples has domi...

English students use comedy to critique

June 13, 2017

By Molly Mahoney ’18 Whether it’s The Onion, Key and Peele or Saturday Night Live, all  of these are bound to leave an audience tearing up from laughter. However, each one’s comedy is rooted in a deeper critique of society today, otherwise known as satire. After studying rhetorical devi...

[April 2017] Will you be my roommate, please?

April 26, 2017

By: Jesse Levinson '17 Hey guys, my name is Jesse Levinson (Lev), and I’m excited to announce that I will be attending Colgate University with y’all! Although I know the majority of accepted students are still making their decisions, I’d love to share some interests of mine and perhaps connect...

[Nov. 2016 Opinions] Checks and balances prevent Trump from real change *satire

November 22, 2016

By Fritz Schemel '17   It’s one week into the presidency of Donald Trump, and already, everything has changed... almost. Although many originally thought Trump would appoint a highly conservative judge to the Supreme Court at the start of his term, he instead declared the entire judicia...

[Oct. 2016 Opinions] Clinton single-handedly demolished the country we once knew and loved *satire

October 28, 2016

By Molly Liebergall '17   The year is 2019. America is ravaged by chaos, and tomorrow, Jan. 20, marks the two-year anniversary of the beginning of the end.  Before she took office, Hillary Rodham Clinton beat Republican nominee Donald Trump by a narrow margin to snag the 2016 presidential e...

[Sept. 2016 Opinions] Here’s to Harambe: the gorilla, the myth, the legend *a satire

October 11, 2016

By Jason Streiter '17 It’s been five months,  two days, 12 hours, 3 minutes and 2.5 seconds since Harambe the gorilla was murdered in cold blood at the Cincinnati Zoo. When a three-year-old child passed over three different fences and fell into Harambe’s habitat, Harambe’s idiotic handlers de...

You’re fired, I’m hired…again

Margot Mather, A&E Editor

May 19, 2016

*Satire* As “The Donald” secured the Republican presidential nomination many find themselves wondering who he will choose for his elected running mate. However, the populace clearly has forgotten what Trump stands for, and therefore have failed to consider the possibility that he will be his ...

Staples MD system checker

Chase Emilio, Staff Writer

April 27, 2016

What is senioritis? Senior(noun) is defined as holding a high position, in this case it's a fourth year student on the verge of graduating high school. The Suffix -itis is classified as an inflammatory disease, or something that spreads in mindset. Senioritis can also be classified as an STD, which...

SATIRE: do you play a real sport?

December 15, 2009

Jack Hennessy '10 Web Sports Editor I love sports. Always have. I love to discuss them, hear about them, watch them, write about them, and of course, play them. My friends and I often argue about which are the true sports. The ones that are, in fact, sports and not activities. I’m here to set the rec...