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F for family?

Graphic by Matty Jacowleff

Members of the Facebook cult-community live off the motto: “pics or it didn’t happen.” At this point, Facebook’s sole purpose has devolved to helping kids show their friends how much fun their life is.

A quick scroll through Facebook and you’ll find picture from parties, concerts and other intriguing experiences that everyone else missed out on.

However, while high schoolers utilize Facebook to look their coolest, this mission doesn’t come without obstacles. See, there are also the old geezers — the old geezers that we call family — who investigate Facebook to keep tabs on you.

As much as I love spending time with you family, there is both a time and a place for conversations with my Aunt Suzy.

If there is one thing that I know, the place for Aunt Suzy is certainly not Facebook.

The story is always the same, get tagged in a picture from the latest party, start racking up the likes, feeling like the big man on campus, and then suddenly the dreaded happens.

You get a notification that your Aunt commented on the photo, “Looks like fun hun! You grew up so much! We love and miss you!”

All street cred flies out the window.

First off, what’s the deal with old people and exclamation points?

Look at any Facebook interaction with your Aunt, you will find an exclamation point in 73 percent of sentences.

Second, why don’t you just hit me up on chat?

I mean I know you’re proud to be the Aunt of my clearly magnetic persona but I got girls to impress and your shouting approval isn’t going to get that done for me.

Hopefully we will soon get 100,000 signatures on a petition to keep anyone older than 40 off of Facebook.

Hey, if they got a petition to deport Justin Bieber, anything is possible right?

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About the Contributor
Mat Jacowleff
Mat Jacowleff, Director of Social Media
On the football field, Mat Jacowleff ‘15 is unstoppable. He is a ferocious linebacker, a boisterous leader, and a loyal teammate. To Jacowleff, football is more than a sport, it is a passion. After nine years of hard work and dedication, Jacowleff has worked himself into a position as not only one of the starters on the Staples varsity squad, but as one of the four captains as well. About this role, Jacowleff stated, “I’ve always been a leader, so I really enjoy being a captain.” Off the field, Jacowleff is one of the social media editors for Inklings. His favorite subjects include English and journalism. “I love journalism because it’s a mix of writing and talking to new, interesting people,” explained Jacowleff. Next year, when Jacowleff ventures to college, he hopes to study something that involves writing, so a journalistic career could be in store in just a few short years. Academics and football are not the only things that attract Jacowleff, as he runs a May-September wiffle-ball league consisting of his neighbors and close friends. The league is quite serious and has been going on for a few years now, with a website containing career statistics, including batting average and home-runs. Jacowleff is also a baby-sitter, having some very interesting experiences, including a time when it was just him and five unrelated small children. As a brother, son, teammate, student and journalist, Jacowleff is always on the lookout for new and exciting experiences. He foresees success in his senior year, both with and without a football helmet on.

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