I’m about to scream

I'm about to scream

Jackie Cope '15

Jordan Goodness, Staff Writer

Every Tuesday from October to January, I hustled to my living room, wrapped myself in my favorite blanket (to protect me from evil of course), pulled up my twitter in case inspiration for a surprised tweet struck, and tuned into the latest spine-tingling addition to American Horror Story: Coven.  It’s no secret that I am part of the growing coven of American Horror Story junkies at Staples.  But now that the iconic third season has ended, I’ve been doing certain things to get my fix of my favorite show.  They’re what I like to call the Four Stages of AHS Withdrawal.


Stage 1: Rewatching Episodes


Now that there aren’t new episodes of my favorite show coming out until next October, I have to make do with the episodes on Netflix from AHS Murder House and Asylum; the first two seasons.  Sure, they’re not new, but when you love the show as much as I do, they never get old.  I’m not kidding.  I’ve probably seen each of the 25 episodes at least three times.  You do the math.


Stage 2: Recruiting Friends


Any TV show addict has devious ways of luring friends to the dark side.  It’s best to have obsession buddies.  So I inducted three of my friends into the theoretical Staples coven of AHS junkies by showing them a few of the episodes, then letting the power of the show reel them in.  Now, whenever I’m craving some gossip about the Zoe, Madison, and Kyle scandal, I have more people to go to.  Getting someone obsessed is as easy as a witch’s spell.


Stage 3: Stalking the Actors on Social Media


You’re a bigger liar than Fiona Goode if you say you’ve never stalked your favorite celebrity on Twitter or Instagram.  You never know when Emma Roberts is going to Instagram another picture of her bloody face from the set, or if Sarah Paulson and Gabourey Sidibe will have another twitter interaction that reveals juicy information about what goes on behind the scenes! AHS junkies stay on top of the gossip, and click that follow button until it hurts!


Stage 4: Moving Forward


After those stages, I sadly ran out of content to fill my time.  So the best way to move on without letting go is checking the season four gossip by following fan forums.  Through my insatiable thirst for season four knowledge, I found out that it will be set at a carnival.  Other than that, next season’s details are as secret as Fiona’s actual age.  And that’s really annoying because this just raises my excitement and impatience.

That’s the thing about the Four Stages, they tend to repeat themselves.