5 Clubs That Should Exist At Staples

Staples has over one hundred clubs, teams, and activities to offer its students. Yet even this selection can’t fully encompass all of the diverse hobbies and interests of the student body. Thus, here are five noticeable gaps in the Staples extra-curricular community.

My Friend is in Culinary Club Club

Cooking is hard. Baking even more so. There are so many measurements and fractions! What’s the prerequisite for culinary club, Calc BC?

So for the lazy foodie, this club would be the perfect place to get together and eat the food someone else slaved over a hot stove to make.

Bathroom Graffiti Artists of America

Not that I mind being told that I’m beautiful whenever I walk into a stall, but with a little more teamwork the quality of bathroom wall writing at Staples could seriously improve. I’d nominate whoever wrote, “Is the hokey pokey really what its all about?” in the third floor girls’ bathroom as its first president.

The Sandwich Line

If you’re going to spend half of lunch there anyway you should at least get to put it on your resume.  There has to be some way to spin it as some form of community service.

“It’s Freezing in Here” Club

In the Arctic Tundra that is Staples High School, we should have a forum to express our concerns about hypothermia, and discuss strategies for layering. There would also be some cool opportunities for logo-wear e.g. earmuffs, parkas.

Association of Freshman Girls

With a membership requirement of at least 30 likes on your profile picture, this club should meet in a clump in the middle of the hallway, preferably right in front of someone who seriously needs to get to math on time. Though on second thought, I think this last one might already exist.