Game Over: Four Places NOT to Go on a Date

Graphic by Alix Neenan '12

Graphic by Alix Neenan ’12

After almost three years of high school, I believe I can say confidently that people do not go on “dates” as much as they used to. Maybe it’s because of our obsession with social networking, our reliance on mobile devices, or maybe it’s because we are inherently hesitant to date. Still, there are some that still date. If a Staples student, boy or girl, were to take a significant other on a date around Fairfield County, here are a couple of places to avoid. When looking at these locations as a place to go on a date, the weaknesses outweigh the strengths.

Graphic by Alix Neenan '12

1) Arby’s
I would never take anyone to Arbys– it’s bland and deserted. In this town, that’s a really bad sign. To take someone to a fast food chain that has food worse than Chartwell’s does not send a good message. Drive past Arby’s if you’re looking for a place to take your special someone.

2) Garden Cinemas
People who know me know that I hate movies. I do not find it fun to sit in a movie theatre for 90 minutes, so why would I bring someone else to suffer with me? Movie dates are lame–you don’t even get to talk to the person you’re sitting next to. If you are going to watch a movie, however, don’t go to Garden Cinemas. This theater features foreign hits, which are in different languages. If you’re looking for a good movie, and not a reading exercise, don’t go here.

3) Winslow Park
Westport’s own park, from a glance, looks to be a perfect place to take someone on a date. That is until you look down. Most likely, especially around this time, your stepping on dog poop. Nothing flattering, attractive, or funny about that. You have to dodge the “land mines” that cover just about every square inch of the park.

4) Puppies of Westport
Before you ridicule me for including a dog store in an article about dating, hear me out. If you were with a significant other and bored during the day, where would you go to pass the time? I know I definitely wouldn’t choose a puppy store.

Here’s my reasoning. As soon as you walk in, you get a waft of dried up urine combined with the unavoidable smell of week old stool. Gross. You’re running the risk that when they see/think of dog excretions, they think of you. Fail.

Comment below to share where you’ve had the worst date!