5 Ways To Look Smarter This Week

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5 Ways To Look Smarter This Week

Sophia Hampton, A&E Editor

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1.) Pencils: Getting dressed for school every morning now consists of one more thing: a pencil. Stick it in your pony tail or behind your ear. Just make sure it is visible. Associating yourself with writing utensils makes it seem like you always have ideas to jot down, or impromptu analytical essays to create.

The pencil should be short from being sharpened so often, and dull so people suppose you just wrote something important. For extra points, instead of a pony tail, put your hair in a messy bun.

If you are as smart as you look, you would not have time for trivial matters such as doing your hair.

2.) Obscure Drinks: Sure, you can go mainstream and carry around coffee or Red Bull so people think you’re tired from a long night studying, but here’s the thing: everyone does that. In high school, people are tired regardless of how late they stayed up doing whatever.

You could really stand out by carrying around obscure unique drinks like Kombucha or Aloe Vera water. Consuming drinks that some people can’t even pronounce really gives off the vibe of higher intellect.

Also those drinks with weird combinations of things like cashew, vanilla, cinnamon and agave milk that claim to refuel your brain cells look elite and pretentious.

3.) Keep A Hand-Written Planner: Replace the handbook that Staples gives you with a personal planner. Get one that is not too flashy, and keep it simple with a classy design. Really neatly (exceptions: see number four) write down all of your homework, weekend plans, and notes. Making your plans seem organized gives off the impression that your life is, in fact, organized and you get things done in a timely manner. That essay due in a week? You got it done yesterday.

4. Handwriting: Having a neat and organized planner comes across one way, but if that doesn’t work for you, then go with really messy handwriting. The more illegible the better. Maybe you could even err on the side of hieroglyphics. Think about it: when is the last time your English teacher wrote a comment on your paper that you could read without a struggle? Doctor’s notes? Those things are written in code. That boy genius who skipped five grades in your English class?

No one could copy him because his notes were so scribbly. It just seems like the smart people in your life have bad handwriting. So if you dot all your “i’s” and cross all your “t’s” it could give off the impression you have too much time on your hands and aren’t spending all your moments being intelligent.

5. Test Grades: Let me set the stage: you are in class and maybe you’re drinking your obscure drink, or jotting notes in your planner, or fixing your messy bun, when your teacher begins to hand back your tests. People have their poker face on as they flip the pages over to see the red ink scrawled across the top. Mostly people are silently calculating their GPA’s or using their peripherals to sneak little peaks at their classmates grades.

A couple of kids shout across the classroom “What’d ya get?” A few people choke back some tears. You on the other hand, must do none of this. As soon as you get your test back, flip it over. It doesn’t even matter if you see your grade. Sit straight up and start grinning. Maybe even let a “Yesssss” escape your lips, or mini fist pump into the air.

If people start to see you happy every time you get an assignment back, they will start to think you are doing well. The number one thing to remember here is that you don’t actually have to be smart to look it.

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