#5 The College Obsession
Interviewer: Would you say that this school is on the top of your list?
Interviewee: Listen, man I love it here- everything about it; the kids, the student-to-teacher-ratio, the passionate students. I’ve wanted to go here since I was just a little kid. My first word was literally University of Michigan. When I was seven, I found a Michigan sweatshirt in drainage pipe and since then I’ve literally worn it every night to sleep without washing it.
Interviewer: Wow. I understand. That’s great, I guess. It’s unique to find someone so passionate about this …
Interviewee: No, you don’t understand- I will literally kill to get in here; just give me the name and the word and I’ll do it, I swear. I have no morals. When I’m bored I memorize the resumes of Michigan Alumni- I know everything about you for god’s sake. You’re 31, have a Masters in English and Philosophy and enjoy playing golf for fun. Also your girlfriend dumped you a month ago. I’m so sorry about that man…
Lesson: There is a fine line between being excited about a school and being obsessed with it. Remember the other parts of your life that don’t involve applying to college: like sports, television, and having conversations with relatives, which aren’t about your list of schools. Show the admissions counselor that you have some depth.
Getting into college is like finding a girlfriend; if you try convincing enough girls, or admissions counselors, that you’re a worthwhile person, eventually someone will believe you. So relax and don’t focus too much on one school; it’s about acting interested, not like a creep.
Side note: The analogy above was not supposed to encourage hitting on the admissions counselor in any way. I’m not going to lie though- it would make a good story if it worked out.
That’s it kids- there’s my college interview advice. Just remember all the things that could possibly go wrong and how your future salary and lifestyle depends on you looking perfectly normal and not screwing up within the course of those twenty minutes. I’m sure you’re all going to do great- and don’t forget to have fun!
