In case any of you are unaware of how boy-girl relationships typically unfold, allow me to break it down.  Step 1: Boy meets girl. Step 2: Boy is attracted to girl. Step 3: Boy takes girl out to cheap restaurants and hopes for a little luck with girl. Step 4: Boy confesses love to girl. Step 5: Girl reciprocates affection or kindly informs boy that he has failed in his courtship attempt. 

As lovely as that is, there is nothing entertaining about it.  What it’s missing is the captivating stupidity thatHollywoodso masterfully injects into our supposed “realities” – something the producers of ABC’s “The Bachelor” have perfected.

In “The Bachelor,” the hugely popular reality show about “finding true love,” 25 girls compete for the heart of one man.  Throughout the season, the girls are supplied with copious amounts of alcohol, and in between cocktail hours, go on helicopter rides with their desired man and his abs of steel in the world’s most exotic locations.

I am well aware that I am fighting a losing battle here, but more guys need to watch this show.  I mean honestly; it’s 25 drunk girls in bikinis attempting pickup lines.

That is the definition of entertainment.

The cat-fights that go on between these girls are also a point of intrigue. 

They are the kinds of spectacles that we males wish we got to see more often.  I’d say that in “The Bachelor,”
 the word “bitch” is used more frequently than the word “love.”

The relationship lessons one learns while watching this show are also invaluable. 

A good one I picked up recently is that it is rather unwise to pass out drunk when being introduced to someone you hope to fall in love with.  These essential guidelines to life can only be provided by a show as idiotic as “The Bachelor.”

It’s especially hysterical to watch this show with a female present, as female viewers pass extremely harsh judgment on the contenders.

 My mom, for example, has been consistently bothered by Emily, a top contender in this current season who was recently eliminated.

“I keep wanting to draw some eyebrows on her,” she complained as the show was playing in our living room.

And yes, Monday night is “Bachelor night” in our household. We needed a replacement once Jack Bauer decided he was tired of making every other  TV show look extremely insignificant

Emily, by the way, is actually a doctral candidate in epidemiology.  It’s just another testament to the power of “The Bachelor” – it can make even intelligent girls look like complete morons.

Anyway, the point I’ve been trying to drive home here is that tuning in to a show just to make fun of it is a perfectly legitimate reason. 

I mean for God’s sake, this show has somehow remained on the air for 10 years and 16 seasons, and close to eight million people watch it per episode.  There have to be more people out there like me.

So before you begin to question my manhood, trying tuning in first, and you just may discover a new meaning to the word “entertainment”.