If you, like me, had your interests in “Snow White and the Huntsman” piqued by exciting trailers featuring stunning visuals and dramatic looks toward the camera by stars Kristen Stewart and Charlize Theron, then go see it.
Be warned though; it doesn’t offer much else.
I’ll be fair. As I left the theater after oohing and aahing for two hours at wide shots of Kristen Stewart as Snow White fleeing on horseback though a bleak, gray forest, and close-ups of adorable, dew covered woodland animals, it didn’t feel like time wasted.
The issue was the opportunity they blatantly wasted with this dark retelling of a classic fairytale.
The vivid cinematography couldn’t hide the flawed pacing and haphazard characterization. The story simply didn’t live up to the gorgeous eye candy.
At one point, I was captivated by the awe-inspiring shot of Snow White approaching a majestic white stag, with antlers made of tree branches. Then, a dwarf delivered to the Huntsman a line that made me want to slam my forehead into the seat in front of me. “Stay back, this has never happened before,” he said with complete seriousness.
This appallingly stilted dialogue is consistent throughout the whole film. It is even more painful when it is said in Kristen Stewart’s rickety approximation of a British accent.
Stewart’s acting chops are not to blame for Snow White failing to come to life on screen, though. The fault, I believe, lies with the writer. The narrative plays with both a tough, warrior Snow White and an exaggeratedly innocent Snow White who cries earnestly at the death of one of her new dwarf friends.
The script fails to ever achieve a balance between the two, or a believable path from point A to point B.
Theron’s cold and deliciously evil demeanor as the evil Queen, surrounded by more brilliant visual tricks (including her talking golden mirror, which oozes forth into a molten, humanoid figure) is embarrassed by an awkwardly random, short montage of the Queen’s backstory, which is dumped arbitrarily into the middle of the film.
On top of all that, the end left a lot to be desired. [Spoiler Alert!]
Snow White stabs the Queen with a defiant “you can’t have my heart” while a tear rolls down her cheek. After being teased with a Twilight Saga-esque love triangle between Snow White, her childhood friend and the Huntsman, the audience is left completely hanging as Stewart stares vacantly off into the distance with her new crown on her head. All either man gets is a kiss with Snow White’s dead body.
All in all, “Snow White” is not a waste of a movie ticket. Go for the beautiful scenery, it’s worth it. Just don’t expect to be stunned by anything else.
