The perfect ugly sweater


Nicole DeBlasi

Photo from MCT Campus

First, you’re going to need to pick a color. Something vibrant like an explosive red or green, preferably something that can be seen from outer space. You cannot pick a non-Christmas-color like, for example, orange, black, or yellow.These colors can be so non-Christmas oriented that it can appear to be Halloween.

Second, you are going to want to show as little skin as possible. Long-sleeves, turtlenecks and scarves are key to this design. Even if you are wearing a vest, put another sweater under it.

Third, you are going to want to be noticed, and that means bells. You want people to think that Santa’s sleigh is coming to town. Bells on your sleeves, collar, wrists, hems, armpits and wherever else you can put them will surely make you jingle.

Last but not least, the only way to show your true Christmas spirit and enthusiasm for the holidays is through the sheer number of Santas, Reindeer, and Snowmen that adorn the front of your sweater.

And if you can string some Christmas lights down your sleeves and find a battery pack to clip on to your pocket, then you will surely be the most enthusiastic sweater-wearer this holiday season.