As the bell blares, a wave of stress hits me, not because of my chemistry test next period, but because of the obstacle course also known as the Staples hallway. My first steps feel like the drive onto Rainbow Road: 6’5” basketball players towering over everyone, music blasting and me zigzagging through the chaos. Halfway through our mere five minutes of passing time, the busy crowd parts, and I can almost make out my destination. But my optimism is derailed as I get stuck behind the worst obstacle of all, a slow walker. What am I supposed to do about this turtle of a person in front of me? The person who senses my movements and moves as I do, blocking all of my progress down the hall. I am forced to accept defeat every period, and I am sick of it.
I’m sick of the Mario Kart courses I have to navigate every time I walk down the hall to English. What should be a minute-long trip turns into eight long minutes as I’m bumped into every wall during my long journey. Nowadays, it seems that Staples students can’t walk in a straight line, or could it be they’re all just confused freshmen?
Slow walkers rule the Staples hallway. Even after the phone ban, a seemingly quick fix to this catastrophe, the walking speed has somehow slowed even more. Apparently, taking teenagers’ eyes off their screens just makes them wander aimlessly, which causes even more hallway traffic. Something has to change. I can’t handle another conversation with my teachers about how they saw me down the hall just a minute ago, but I’m still three minutes late.
I am done being blamed for something that isn’t my fault. Why should the rest of us be punished because some people are chronically late? If my quiet screams of insults and regretfully pretended shoves behind these slow walkers weren’t enough for them, here’s my PSA: If you’re going to walk slowly, do it on your own time.
Now that I’ve aired my rants, I might as well take some accountability. I tend to slow my pace when I am talking to my friends. However, that does not justify the people who stop walking entirely. The worst offenders of all are the tallest kids who freeze in the middle of the hallway like a freeze dance game, blocking the way for the rest of us. As someone who is 5’3” and wears Uggs slippers almost every day of the week, I am not in the mood to bushwhack through a forest of motionless teenagers.
I’d like to say I speak for the majority of the school, but if not, I hope I’ve left a small imprint on the opposers. Please, just remember this: get out of my way. I really don’t care where you walk, as long as it’s not in front of me. If nothing else, I hope I have raised awareness about the obstacle we collectively call the Staples hallway. And if you spot me during passing time, don’t wave, don’t stop, just walk.
