Now that I’ve (practically) graduated from high school, I have a lot more free time on my hands. Instead of filling out the missing information in my college portal, I prefer more cultured pursuits: watching Jacob Elordi getting pushed down a staircase on my porch while drinking a Cherry Coke Zero.
It’s true, “Euphoria” on HBO has been THE guilty pleasure (or sometimes just guilty) watch for me and the rest of my generation since season two came out in 2022. And now, as it comes to an end, here are four predictions for what’s in store for Rue, Maddie, Jules and Co. as they finally stop tormenting our screens with their questionable decisions.
1. Needless Dominic Fike cameo
Notably absent from this season was singer Dominic Fike’s role as Elliot, Rue’s pill-popping buddy. A character who I despised entirely, I haven’t taken this news too hard. A cheap cameo in the finale may be just what the doctor ordered, however, because if there’s any motto that “Euphoria” has in storytelling, it’s ‘why not.’
2. Maddie kills Alamo with some sort of desert fauna
The word of the day is ‘cowboy,’ according to director Sam Levinson, as this season’s aesthetic took a sharp right turn out of glittery eye-shadow and into tumbleweed-y, yee-haw isms. Maddie Perez isn’t one to take defeat laying down, and since we’ve already crossed the line of believability (the logistics of the whole death-by-rattlesnake bit don’t really click), I would totally expect her to lock Alamo in a pit with like. A mountain lion. Or something.
3. We were watching Lexi’s show the whole time
I wouldn’t put this cheap thrill past them. We already know Lexi has a passion for wallflowering and putting the lives of those around her on the theatrical chopping block, and the budding Hollywood writer would surely jump at the opportunity to profit off of her family and friends’ once more, for old times sake. I predict the final shot will be Lexi quietly sliding a manila folder labeled “Euphoria” across a producer’s desk while the audience collectively groans.
Classic
4. Zendaya wears a weird hat
Given her penchant for weird headwear, I wouldn’t be surprised if Zendaya Hat Theory returns with a vengeance. Maybe in the form of Rue smuggling pills under a ginormous fedora. Or a cowboy hat.
My “Euphoria” Sundays have been a beloved tradition for years now, and fond memories of watching real Cassie pull fake Cassie off of a carousel will surely live in my heart for years to come. Say what you will about the show, but it’s always been entertaining.
