Push your luck on St. Patrick’s Day


Graphic by Katie Howard ’19

Katie Howard '20

It’s that time of year. When the streets are lined with emerald, nary a wall is unadorned with a four leaf clover, and every child smiles with a chocolate gold coin from a leprechaun. It’s the time where anyone with at least 3 percent of Irish heritage, any confused Scots and anyone just interested in a good time emerge from a long winter hibernation to eat, drink, be merry and generally pillage the towns in a blur, like a sea of drunken, emerald cicadas.

And with that magic tinge in the air, why not push your luck this holiday? What could happen? Wear that blouse that always seemed a little too flashy. Cut those bangs that you always wanted but your mom said wouldn’t suit you. Ask that girl out. On the day of luck this year, why not push it and pursue your dreams? You have the luck of the Irish! What can happen?

But don’t stop there! Why, St. Patrick’s Day is only once per year. Take full advantage of that and live your life to the fullest. You can’t carpe diem more than when you’re pushing your luck!

Quit your day job and pursue that dream of becoming a ventriloquist. The market for creepy guys with puppets has never been better, you’re bound to make it! Sell your house and use the profits to buy lottery tickets. Maybe even try joining those Russians and play their special roulette. Nothing bad can happen! You’re untouchable! It’s St. Patrick’s Day! Luck is anywhere and everywhere.

It’s the luckiest day of the year, so why not be a little risky? For just this one day a year, you have the gift of the luck of the Irish. And look at ‘em, nothing bad ever happened to them, right?