By Daniel Harizman ’19 & Lili Romann ’19

The excitement that comes with winning over the heart of another is often an endeavor associated with the young and young-at-heart.

 However, as society has changed, and especially with the evolution and growth of social media, the game of young love has morphed into “scheming,” or the process of initiating and developing a relationship solely over social media.

“When my parents went to school, the guy would come to the front door for a date, caring a lot about the opinions of their date’s family,” Cole Brockwell ’19 said. “Society has changed. People care less about reputation now. But now, you’re not social unless you use social media.”

Teens use Instagram, Snapchat and Facebook as tools for scheming. These platforms offer direct messaging (“DMing”) which enables teens to reach out to one another on a more personal level,  otherwise known as “sliding into someone’s DM’s.”

It is very common for a boy or a girl to find a person’s online profile and proceed to direct message them, although the anonymity that comes along with the use of social media can permit a false perception of character and can often lead to a botched understanding of personality.

However, many teens see negatives associated with this trendy dating method.

“Dating is a lot less serious now. It’s kind of a more laid back deal, especially now that people can be a ‘thing’ with someone,” Luke Welch ’19 said. Welch said he believes in the foundation of a relationship and that it should be based mostly on real life connection, as opposed to being based mostly on social media interaction.

Alexa Stiegler ’19 feels that beginning relationships over social media can cause worse relationships between partners.  

“With technology, people don’t feel the need to meet new people in person, as well as have a conversation with them in person,” Stiegler said. “It makes it harder for someone to talk to a person face to face when they can just text or Snapchat them.”

Social studies teacher Nell-Ayn Lynch believes that the relationship culture has significantly evolved since she was young, and specifically notes a decline in interpersonal, devoted relationships.

“We didn’t have social media, so when you saw someone cute, you would go up and talk to them wherever you were, whether it be at a party, through mutual friends or on a blind date,” Lynch said. “Now with social media, the relationship is at the touch of your hand.”

Even some teenagers are dissatisfied with the interference of social media in relationship development.  Gabriela Vega ’18, for one, is a firm believer in the importance of the archetypal personal relationship.

“It may be easier to get to know someone over social media, and easier to be in contact with them all the time, although, I think that a relationship should be more personal rather than over social media,” Vega said.

The youth, along with older generations, have collectively recognized the ways in which relationships have evolved due to social media, and most have found these up and coming customs rather negative.

“It’s not a relationship unless you have some sort of interpersonal skills,” social studies teacher Drew Coyne, said.