It’s time to break up with snow

Julia Greenspan, Public Relations

Hey snow,

Don’t get me wrong, things were great at first.

During the first weeks of winter we had great times together watching “Friends” marathons and enjoying the days off from school.

But after a while you kind of just got, you know, clingy.

Like, really clingy.

I was constantly trying to get rid of you, but you just always came back. Did you not get the hint?

I also can’t stand hearing about your impending presence from Al Roker every morning. I stopped sleeping with a spoon under my pillow a long time ago just so I could hear this man predict sunshine and butterflies, not another day stuck in a white abyss.

And you were always so moody. Remember that time you were going to be the big bad “apocalypse,” and the next day you just decided to casually sprinkle some snowflakes over the town?

Not to mention you treated everyone with complete disrespect this winter. Boston doesn’t have time to clean up your mess with baseball season around the corner. And the Texans? The Lone Star state is used to plowing fields, not your problems.

So go run off and tell someone else about your 108.6 inches because I’m tired of hearing about it.

You’re not cute, snow, and frankly spring doesn’t look that good on you. ‘Tis the season for you to leave… now.

Good-bye for now (and hopefully for a while),


P.S. Please move out ASAP; I’d like to be reminded of what grass looks like.