A committed atheist rarely lets her faith waver. That’s the whole point, isn’t it? To be very, very, very sure that there is no spiritual presence in this world.
Yet when it seems the world has gone to seed, an optimist has trouble believing that the hands of humanity could have wrung themselves around the neck of the world so blatantly. One sees deleterious effects every day: the ice caps melting, the deserts drying, flocks of animals dying en masse, all as a direct result of civilization’s “progress.”
Sounds a lot like the plot of the book we call the Bible.
Even worse, it seems that we’re doing it to ourselves. Going “green” when it’s convenient, but driving our children to the bus stop in SUVs. Refusing offers of government health care. Cutting taxes for the rich. Every decision nowadays seems to either breed resentment or be too little, too late. How can humans deliberately act in opposition to their interests? How can a god be so intentionally malicious?
So, like any good determinist, I wash my hands of it, and place the blame on a poltergeist that has infiltrated the United States Congress, if not the world. I’ve named him Ricky.
Poltergeists traditionally are mischievous spirits that cause domestic disruption, moving objects around and making loud, unexplained noises. Ricky is very good at this. He amuses himself by moving around funds, taking away the taxes of the highest brackets and keeping it in bourgeois coffers. Maybe if we leave him a snack, he can give some of that money to the jobless.
If we leave him a bowl of salt, he might leave for good, according to Paranormalsoup.com.
Ricky’s also a big noisemaker. He’s the one forcing Sarah Palin to refudiate the mosque at Ground Zero with such vigor, and the one backing the Tea Party movement in volume and in malice. He’s the one giving congressmen the energy to filibuster for over eight hours, making enough noise to bring the lawmaking process to a full stop.
I believe Ricky is the one responsible for the footsteps we hear daily in our schools, where he has taken the tissues and defaced the walls, the unexplained bang we hear as we drive over an unfilled pothole. He simply has to be the one manipulating Americans to reject legislation that would benefit them, and embrace that which would hurt them.
Poltergeists have come and gone throughout history, leaving in their wake a trail of destruction. But will President Obama be the one to leave the bowl of salt by the door? It is clear that he is fighting the poltergeist’s efforts; he has finally employed all of America’s armed forces and begun nursing the sick. But, as Ricky continues to wreak havoc on our House and Senate, the task grows more difficult. Our poltergeist doesn’t seem to want to leave just yet.
