Join the discussion.

Inklings News

Join the discussion.

Inklings News

Join the discussion.

Inklings News

The Department Competition

Graphic by Ellie Kalatzi, drawings by Alice McDonald

Imagine a department at Staples that is hard-working, extremely organized, well-prepared. Maybe even awesome, cool, and the best in the country.

That would be the math department, according to various members interviewed recently.

“We tend to have everything in order and know where to find everything,” explained Kerrigan Warnock, who teaches geometry. “We joke that a lot of us are OCD.”

In any case, math teachers argue that that what makes their department special is the closeness of their offices to one another.

According to Mr. Kissinger, “Even when there are disagreements, we can resolve them in a polite and respectful way,” said Theron Kissinger, who teaches pre-Calc, geometry and algebra. “And as a result, we learn and grow from the discussions.”

Of course, there are always adjustments that could be made.“I polled the math department. They want a masseuse,” Warnock said.

Science, the next major departments at Staples, is its own special domain. According to biology teacher Matt Filip, it’s enlightened.

“We were nerds before nerds were cool,” Filip said.

They’re so nerdy, he joked, that they wear safety goggles at annual holiday parties, and during lunch, they have breakdancing competitions in the prep room.

And yet, like the other departments, science, too has its issues.

“Chemistry smells. I’d rather not be near it,” Mr. Filip said.

The Social Studies department’s claim to fame is a little different. Teachers there pride themselves on their fun and energetic atmosphere and say they’re the most upbeat department.

Teachers there say they love “Bagel Friday,” one of many traditions in that deparment. Then there’s Secret Santa, Downton Abbey discussions (during which they pretend to be British by drinking tea and eating crumpets), and Birthday Buddies, who celebrate with cards, cakes, and balloons.

But one thing they don’t have? Doors.

According to department secretary Fran Evan, there’s an upside: the absence of doors between offices within the department is “ a significant factor to the good friendships and the interactions that all the teachers have.”

Evan is also secretary to the English department, which puts her in a unique position to compare the two groups. She joked that aside from its messy conference room, Social Studies is closer — and maybe better.

Obviously, teachers in the English Department do not agree.

“We are the best department because we work with the best subject matter,” said Alex Miller, who teaches every grade but sophomores. “How often do you see someone reading a Math or Social Studies textbook at the beach? Everyone loves a good story.”

And according to Miller, the English department includes an assortment of characters with different types of humor, which means there’s never a dull moment.

Although there was a Secret Snowflake exchange, get-togethers are really outside of school, unlike the Social Studies department.


Leave a Comment
More to Discover
About the Contributor
Kelsey Shockey, Web Sports Editor
Though she may flaunt skirts and cardigans in every hue of pink, Kelsey Shockey’s ’14 girly presence is not to be misconstrued. The Staples Senior’s true passion is sports. Since the age of five, Shockey has devoted herself to playing tennis year round. Currently a member of the girls’ varsity team, Shockey hopes to pursue the sport in college. “I love tennis because it is like performing on a stage and the spotlight is on you,” Shockey said. However, Shockey isn’t just getting attention on the courts. Since her freshman year, she has been involved in the Staples Television Network (STN), providing coverage for sports events. “I was never a great speaker in middle school or elementary school because I was so shy. But now I’ve come out of my shell,” Shockey said. “STN changed everything.” Dreaming of one day gracing national television, she hopes to study communications with an emphasis on broadcast journalism. Combining her love for sports and communications, it’s no wonder that Shockey is a perfect fit as one of Inkling’s Web Sports Editors. Full of exuberance and enthusiasm, she loves that she can “connect with people” through her writing. Shockey’s proudest work is “Explosion at Boston Marathon,” the first breaking news story she has ever written for Inklings. With a strong work ethic as well as a flare for sports and broadcasting, Shockey is sure to be a valuable addition to this year’s Inklings staff.

Comments (0)

All Inklings News Picks Reader Picks Sort: Newest

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *