Whenever I tell anyone that I, a 17-year-old senior, do not have my license, they are absolutely flabbergasted. In Westport, it’s essentially expected that all upperclassmen have the ability to drive, and usually drive their own car as well. What follows is a series of questions. On behalf of all seniors living sans-license, I would like to answer the most frequently answered questions.
Why haven’t you gotten your license yet?
A lot of people attribute my delayed testing to my habitual laziness and procrastination, when it’s actually quite the opposite. I have chosen not to get my license as a protest of the societal presumptions placed on high schoolers. I have intentionally waited so long to get what so many view as a right of passage so that I can be an example, an idol for people to look up to when they feel like they don’t fit the status quo. They see me, and see that I’m thriving without my license and they realize that they can stand up to the system. So, for that, you all are welcome.
What do you do if you want to go somewhere?
I usually just close my eyes, think of the place I wanna be and wish really, really hard. I end up in the right place about 60 percent of the time.
Don’t you get tired of asking for rides?
Actually I quite like incessantly begging my friends to drive me around; it makes me feel like I’m validating their driving ability. I also love the pure rush of adrenaline when I realize that if my parents don’t answer their phones, I could potentially be stranded for hours. It really gets my heart beating.
Are you ever going to get your license?
I’ve thought about it, but I think at this point I’m just planning on waiting it out until either teleportation is fully developed or I’m famous/rich enough to be able to buy a fleet of Segways to get around.
I hope that this was helpful, but if you have any more questions about what it’s like to be living without the weight of societal standards on your shoulders, don’t hesitate to ask. And to all those young’ns out there, whether or not you choose to get your license is up to you, but just know that if you do make the decision to be independently able to transport yourself, you’ll be falling right into the oppressive claws of society.