Ms. Ginny Parker needs a makeover

Each fall and spring, I manage to get a vigorous workout before practice even begins.  Every day after school, my teammates and I are forced to flex our calves and tighten our glutes as we work in a finessed trot to maneuver down the dirt slope that serves as the majestic entrance to the girls’ field hockey and lacrosse turf field, “Ginny Parker.”

Now, let me preface this complaint by saying that it is amazing that there is a field at Staples solely dedicated to these two girls’ sports. The field hockey and lacrosse teams are lucky and grateful to have it.

Don’t get me wrong; I love Ginny. I respect Ginny and all she has given me, and because of this, I owe Ginny the respect of saying the truth about her.  Ginny needs a SERIOUS makeover.

Sure, you could say she has a natural beauty to her, with the scattered litter on the field and the stench of the Port-O-John just a few feet away from the field hockey net, but compared to the other fields at Staples, she quite frankly looks like Cady Heron at the Halloween party in “Mean Girls” ­– out of place.

Ginny Parker is the only field at Staples without stands and easy access to the field.

Every game, my mom lugs her torn-up beach chair down the muddy slope so she has a somewhat comfortable place to sit.  The only seating options Ginny has are BYO.

It’s hard enough to get someone to actually come to the game, but then there’s the fact that there is nowhere to sit.  I’d like to think this is why we don’t get many fans.

The few fans who do come, and are not as smart as my mother, tentatively sit on the wooden, splinter-filled fence at the top of the hill by the parking lot. It might give them a decent view and a place to congregate with other Superfans, but it also gives them easy access to their cars.

A.k.a. an easy way to leave.

Before half time even starts.

Even so, there are some perks to the unkempt hill.  I can’t even count the amount of times I have witnessed someone falling down that slope.

It’s funny when it’s a teammate, and it’s hysterical when it’s an opponent.

It’s hilarious, until it’s you being cackled at as you blindly tumble down the muddy hill.

I guess it’s also funny that Ginny stands out like a sore thumb, just like it was hilarious when Cady showed up to the party as a ghost bride.

Through these ambiguous “Mean Girls” metaphors, I’m just trying to ask in a cute and non-assertive way that Ginny get cleaned up and some sort of seating arrangement for our potential fans is configured.

Ginny is the only field at Staples that hasn’t been paid this attention, and I believe she deserves it.