How To Fake A Vacation


Your friends are skiing in Colorado, tanning in the Bahamas, and sightseeing in Paris. You on the other hand, are bored out of your mind, stuck at home catching up on Breaking Bad and watching The Walking Dead.

To make matters worse, every time you log on to Facebook you see pictures of the Colorado snow at Beaver Creek Resort, the waves at the Tiamo Beach in the Bahamas, and the Eiffel Tower.

If you are tired of staying at home during Spring Break while your friends brag about having so much fun, there’s an answer: they can’t brag if you are somewhere nicer. So what do you do? You fake a vacation.

1.) Master Photoshop

On the first few days of spring break one’s newsfeed will be covered in those unoriginal pictures of one’s feet lying on the beach with the sand and the waves in the background. Luckily for you, your bed is the beach.

Simply lie in bed, put on a swimsuit, take one of those photos, Photoshop your wall out and replace it with a beach.

If you can’t Photoshop to save your life, you can always use a photo from last year because, unless someone is stalking you, no one is going to notice you’re a phony when they’re relaxing on the beach.

2.) Buy A T-Shirt From Where You Are “Vacationing”

Ahh the power of the Internet. On the day back to school from spring break make sure to wear the t-shirt you “bought while vacationing.”

I mean how else would you have gotten that Disney World shirt if you didn’t go to Orlando? If you can buy canned unicorn meat on Amazon, you can find a t-shirt from Aruba or Aspen.

3.) Learn Trivia About Where You Went

Spend a few hours looking up random trivia about your “destination.” While everyone is talking about that double black diamond they skied down, you can talk all about how Christopher Columbus named the Virgin Islands.

Will you be super annoying? Yes. But how could you have known that taxis in London are black if you didn’t go to London?

4.) Tan

How could you have gone to the Dominican Republic and not gotten a tan because you definitely didn’t stay inside all day.

If you get a tan, for some reason people assume that you went somewhere, when you could’ve just gone to Compo. Just make sure not to go to a tanning booth. They cause cancer.

5.) Tweet And Instagram About Your Vacation

“Going” to Los Angeles? Tweet every five minutes about seeing Bradley Cooper or Kobe Bryant. “Visiting” the Cayman Islands? Tweet about how much you’re enjoying that piña colada.

Don’t go overboard though. As cool as it may sound, you didn’t see Brad Pitt, Charlie Sheen, Mila Kunis, Jennifer Lawrence, AND Kim Kardashian in the same day. Although, not seeing Kim Kardashian is kind of a good thing.

As far as Instagram, it’s simple: find a pictures of the Louvre, L’Arc de Triumph, and the Eiffel tower off of Google, add a filter and voila  –  you spent your vacation in Paris.