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I Believe North Dakota Does Not Exist

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I Believe North Dakota Does Not Exist

Graphic by Jake Baron '13

Graphic by Jake Baron '13

Graphic by Jake Baron '13

Graphic by Jake Baron '13

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I am thoroughly convinced that North Dakota does not actually exist.

This conspiracy is so blatantly obvious it has been overlooked for about 120 years.

If you don’t agree with my argument at first, please, ask yourself:

Have you ever known a single person that has ever been to North Dakota?

I assume all of your answers are “no,” because if they aren’t, that kind of ruins my argument.

I was confronted with this idea when I was 11-years-old. My family was driving across the country from California to Connecticut and we made a bunch of stops along the way.

A couple national parks, some places to see family, and we went to South Dakota to see Mount Rushmore.

Then, my dad suggested that we go through North Dakota into Canada.

On our drive, we passed through some iconic places in South Dakota, including Wall, South Dakota where our car was stopped by a large buffalo.

On the border of South Dakota and North Dakota, I was surprised to see a “Welcome to Canada” sign only about 50 feet beyond it.

Basically, North Dakota is a 50 foot long strip of land that stretches a bunch of miles, but there is nothing there.

Yes, there is a place occupying space called North Dakota, and it is physically there, but not in the way anyone has ever thought.

North Dakota is basically a ploy by the government to have exactly 50 states. Not only that, but it is also, contrary to popular belief, where area-51 is located.

Area-51, for those of you that don’t know, is a high-security Air Force base that is thought to have been a place involving aliens and UFOs.

But you all thought it was in Nevada. Why would it be in the same state as Las Vegas? No way. Too much stuff around.

There is actually nothing else in North Dakota, so it’s a perfect place for a secret military base that researches aliens.

What about the lack of change in government? They’ve had the same Superintendent of Public Instruction since 1985 and the same Secretary of State since 1993.

This is because the governmental system is run by the officers at area-51, and they don’t leave there until they either get their brain wiped by some accidental gamma ray, or they just leave.

In reality, there are no actual inhabitants of North Dakota.

The census that everyone sees is actually just the people that commute from South Dakota and Montana to work at area-51.

Yes, more people live in Montana than in North Dakota, have fun with that.

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225 Responses to “I Believe North Dakota Does Not Exist”

  1. april on December 4th, 2009 5:44 pm

    Well, me and many others I am friends with are actually from ND. We still live there and I don't think we are aliens……..

  2. A-shu on December 2nd, 2015 3:42 pm

    You mean Notre Dame of course. People that live in the cities of North Dakota come from the sourounding states and stay there for the weekend to work at Area 51 then go back to their respective states for the holidays or when they are not working. The government has provided y’all with false statehood and yall took it. Or you are a government worker who is paid to claim you are from a state that does not exist. Do not believe this man, he can’t be trusted

  3. givemeabreak on December 4th, 2009 5:53 pm

    Really, it doesn't exist? You obviously haven't seen some of the great things ND is doing:

  4. Julie on December 4th, 2009 5:56 pm

    WEll this is just stupid and a waste of time to even read! OR maybe the person is joking and "trying" to be funny!

    Who knows……

  5. Red on December 4th, 2009 5:58 pm

    Seriously… ? you are an idiot. Hello I'm there now and it's much bigger than 50 miles… stupid jerk

  6. Calli on December 4th, 2009 6:05 pm

    That is a very pathetic and poorly researched article you posted JJ. Having grown up in ND and spending all 22 years of my life here, I apparently know a bit more about the state than you. For example – did you know North Dakota has considerable reserves of coal and petroleum, and has the largest potential wind energy resource of any state in the country? Our economy is also growing at 5% per year. Any idea what we offer when it comes to agriculture? North Dakota leads the U.S. in the production of flax, canola, pinto beans, dry edible peas, durum, navy beans, spring wheat, all sunflowers, and many others (not to mention to our successful livestock industry!). The state ranks second in the production of all wheat and sugarbeets.

  7. JohnS_ on December 8th, 2009 2:06 am

    Or he could be being sarcastic. I'll give you a sec to think about that.

  8. Gabe on December 13th, 2009 3:16 pm

    yeah seriously, let's say North Dakota does exist. Why would you try to convince people of how great it is because it "leads the U.S. in the production of flax, canola, pinto beans, dry edible peas, durum, navy beans, spring wheat, all sunflowers, and many others"? I'm not from North Dakota (so maybe i don't have the same boring mindset), but unless you really are all aliens, then why on earth would you think that being number one in production of dry edible peas is cool?

    If you want to convince us of North Dakota's existence, why don't all you North Dakotans try using some more interesting examples of what makes your state significant rather than babbling on about your growing economy, beans, and cows……..hmmm Cows. Did you know that Connecticut is home to the WORLD"S LARGEST DAIRY STORE, Stew Leonard's? That isn't even cool but I would rather have that than dry edible peas.

  9. notallac on February 14th, 2012 9:09 pm

    Well.. no food for you then! We.. wait.. no one i suppose.. wants you to starve anyways. =] NO OIL FOR YOU EITHER!!! bahahaha we are going to split and be come our own nation. World Power here we come, and we will do a hell of a lot better than the rest of the US. =]

  10. Tyler on April 2nd, 2016 12:04 am

    Because you dumbass with North Dakota you would most likely have no food on your table

  11. NDCollegeStudent on December 4th, 2009 6:08 pm

    you are special.. because this just got posted all over all the college websites for every single college in ND. congratulations

  12. just wondering on December 6th, 2009 12:52 am

    What websites is it posted on, NDCollegeStudent? I wanna see!

  13. LuvND on December 4th, 2009 6:23 pm

    This is quite an interesting article and I feel sorry for you that you didn't get to experience what a great place North Dakota is. Here is a fun fact for you… While the rest of the economy is struggling with job loss and unemployment North Dakota is a at solid 4.2% unemployment and I can tell you right now that they are not all employed at your so-call "Area 51". Speaking of that we do have Air Force bases here and instead of spending their time working at Area 51 they are instead spending their time fighting a war to keep YOU safe. I think little respect for them would be great. I have lived in North Dakota my entire life and wouldn't have wanted to grow up anywhere else. Maybe now that you're all grown up, now being a sophomore and all, you should make a trip here and see just what you are missing. North Dakota is safe and friendly but most of all the people in North Dakota have class…

  14. kkkkkkk on April 4th, 2012 9:43 pm

    maybe he was joking…

  15. Linda Perleberg on December 4th, 2009 6:28 pm

    I came to North Dakota when I was 15 from Yuma Arizona. I could say a lot of thing to you about your sensless ramblings but you obviously wouldn't have the mental capacity to understand what I would say. However there is help for your problem and it is right here in North Dakota! It is called the North Dakota State Hospital. It is located in Jamestown N.D. I am sure they have an extra spare rubber room and a nice straght jacket that will fit you.
    Linda Perleberg
    Jamestown College

  16. ks1234 on December 4th, 2009 6:33 pm

    you are such an idiot

  17. Jared S on December 4th, 2009 6:33 pm

    This story is wrong… I am from North Dakota and i love it here… it is a great state to be from because u dont see us writing blogs bashing on other states because they dont have anything else to do!!!

  18. Calli on December 4th, 2009 6:39 pm

    as I continue…… And yes, all of this takes hard-working people who we have right here in ND! I'm not even sure that you actually went through ND on your trip because there is obviously more than 50ft. before you hit Canada! I'm assuming you meant for this to be an entertaining article full of false information, which you did a good job of. However, for those people who have never visited our beautiful state, we would like for them to create their own opinion. I believe I speak for many of us in ND when I say we do not appreciate your false advertising and myths regarding the great state of ND.

  19. NDSCS Girl on December 4th, 2009 6:44 pm

    I am from Minnesota but attend North Dakota State College of Science as a full time student. Honestly this is just stupid, you are missing all the amazing things North Dakota has to offer. Maybe you should take a little trip and experience the beauty that this state has to offer!

  20. Taylor B on December 4th, 2009 6:45 pm

    This is very untrue…i've lived in North Dakota for 19 years and we do not research aliens here we actually do have some cities and towns like any other state. and we aren't a bunch of hicks like everyone thinks we are. and its not 50 feet from south dakota to canada….you should get your facts straight before you right about something like that

  21. Mel on December 4th, 2009 2:50 pm

    I have an idea lets bring this idiot to North Dakota in the middle of winter and then he can see that it really does exist! Plus there are lots of things here. There are the Peace Gardens Rossevelt National Park or the North Dakota Bad Lands if you want to call them that. Did he ever think that when he was going from South Dakota to Canada that he fell asleep. I have taken that drive from Mt. Rushmore up to Watford City and I even fell asleep. I just can’t stand how stupid people are. Let me guess he is also one of those people you are chatting to on the internet and asks if we have computers up here.

  22. Craig on December 4th, 2009 6:57 pm

    Oh this is great news… since N.D. doesnt exist, in reality then, I must be a S.Dak resident… at least now I wont have to live through another one of those North Dakota winters…… whewwwww.

  23. james on December 10th, 2009 3:21 am

    your retarded

  24. Very Mad North Dakota Resident on April 19th, 2016 1:30 pm

    I agree

  25. Cassie DuBray on December 4th, 2009 7:00 pm

    Please take a moment and consider…yes, North Dakota is limited in population (more than 50 miles worth), however, it does take several hours to actually get across the state of North Dakota. If you look at a map, you would notice that there are actually several citites inbetween South Dakota and Canada, and the census prooves that people do live there. I live in North Dakota and we have a special something that I have not found in any other state in the United States, and I have been to most of them. North Dakota is full of hard working, dedicated, community and family oriented people. This is a state built upon tradition. Hopefully next time you consider criticizing an area, you will do your background research first, and citations help your credibility!

  26. Cassie DuBray on December 4th, 2009 7:00 pm

    Continuing—I'd recommend checking going on a new road trip and checking out all the amazing things there are to see in North Dakota. For example, Jamestown has the world's largest buffalo and three white albino buffalo. There are wind farms and oil fields and landscapes that you will never see anywhere else, and a sunrise and sunset that will astonish you at it's beauty. Don't believe me? Just google, "great things about North Dakota" and see what you find!

  27. Kevin on December 4th, 2009 7:01 pm

    You're an idiot, North Dakota is way better then Connecticut.

  28. Jacob N. on December 5th, 2009 4:55 am

    Kevin…you are embarrassing North Dakotans and me.

  29. Jane on December 4th, 2009 7:04 pm

    I am not a resident of ND, but I go to college there and I just got an email telling all of us to read this "'spoof story' that does not depict North Dakota in a positive light" and respond with all the wonderful things about ND. Your article was funny, and these posts are rather entertaining as well!! You sure got quite a few people's panties in a knot!! You need to give ND some credit though, after all they do have the World's Largest buffalo, holstein cow, sandhill crane, and many others I assume! Not to mention the Enchanted Highway… I even saw a tree one time. WIth all that, who wouldn't love North Dakota?

  30. thisissostupid on December 4th, 2009 10:14 pm

    It's too bad our North Dakota education system is wasting their time on an education you are apparently not using.

  31. confusedwiththedrama on December 20th, 2009 9:10 pm

    your post made me giggle. thanks for putting some humor into a very intense debate over a funny article for a high school newspaper!!

  32. Tyler on April 2nd, 2016 12:11 am

    We here in Wapheton have the worlds biggest catfish and the source of the largest river that flows north in the U.S.

  33. See on December 4th, 2009 3:04 pm

    I wish it didn’t exist. hahahah

  34. BeeninNDforever on December 4th, 2009 7:08 pm

    I'm going to have to agree with D. Johnson. As a long time resident of ND the rest of you are missing his humor. It wasn't like he was asking to have you deleting from the map! We have such big egos here to make up for our small population. Again well written OPINION piece and the rest of you quit raising your blood pressure over a little fun its not like we want the whole country to know all about the wonderful things ND has to offer otherwise it wouldn't be the nice secluded quite place it is! Furthermore, people calm down this is a high school paper. JJ I must give you props cause my small town ND high school newspaper is still NOT online! And further props JJ cause I'm thinking this well written article has spread like wildfire!

  35. W Oren on December 4th, 2009 7:08 pm

    Just seems like a rambling that went on and stopped on the subject of aliens. North Dakota has less people than Montana does, but compared to people per square mile, people fill more of North Dakota than Montana. Also, in posting this comment I realize that I have given in to this and have helped bring more attention to this. I do agree though it is freedom of speech and whether we like this article or not it exists and is part of the rights granted by our Constitution.

  36. Baab on December 4th, 2009 7:08 pm

    Nice attempt at humor, but you kinda failed. Instead of being funny you just unintelligent. But you've got potential, I'm from Minnesota and I go to school in North Dakota. I'm totally okay with you making fun of North Dakota, cuz to be honest I do so as well. But you might wanna work on your delivery cuz It really didn't make me laugh.

  37. sb on December 4th, 2009 3:14 pm

    Apparently we had better come to Connecticut and check out your educational system. Every History or Geography book I have ever looked at tells about the state of North Dakota. You had better be harppy that we are here. Our Air bases protect this good old USA and the grains that are grown here supply the nation with ingredients to make much of the food you eat. I think since your schooling wasn’t very good in Connecticut you had better go in search of a better educational system.

  38. SS on December 4th, 2009 3:16 pm

    A well done satirical article! But you really should come out here and experience it for a little while. It’s not as bad as you might think. I too once was a non-believer in the state but after a few years it grows on you. The people are very nice and there is nothing like experiencing a -45 degree day! You find fun ways to entertain yourself and you understand and appreciate the simple joys in like.

  39. GetASenseofHumorND on December 4th, 2009 7:21 pm

    Ha! This is very clever and creative. Sounds like something the Onion might carry.

    You are in good company in your mocking of us North Dakotans. Here is a mockumentary about us by Michael Moore:

    <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value=""></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="; type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

    Dave Barry explains why you shouldn't make fun of us:

    <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value=""></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="; type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

    And yes, I am from ND, and no, we aren't all so sensitive. Some of us do have a sense of humor. In fact, I'll prove it. Check out this little video on the icon of my hometown:

    <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value=""></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="; type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>


  40. GetASenseofHumorND on December 4th, 2009 7:27 pm

    Crud, apparently I cannot embed video clips, so I will try to post the links instead:

    Michael Moore:

    Dave Barry:

    Tommy Turtle:

    There, now you can enjoy! (I hope…)

  41. Lisa on December 4th, 2009 7:29 pm

    I was born and raised in Fargo, North Dakota. I find that your piece has neglected the over 641,000 people that live here because you have merely driven through what I am assuming was the plains areas where much of our farm land is placed. We are in fact ranked 48th in population which means that there are two states with a lower population than ours, Wyoming and Vermont. We have also beat Montana on population by density, so although your facts are correct, you are more likely to see a North Dakotan while driving through North Dakota than you are to see a Montanan while driving through Montana . We do have some very beautiful state parks and attractions here, I suggest you try to visit one some time, such as Theodore Roosevelt National Park in western North Dakota’s Badlands, or the albino buffalo, White Cloud, in Jamestown, just to name a few.
    Although, I am not sure about your idea of area 51 being here. Who knows… 😉

  42. JtownJimmie on December 4th, 2009 7:44 pm

    Kid, you're school is clearly failing you. I'm very sorry you were cheated on your education. ND does, in fact, exist. I've spent 15 years here. Oh, and aliens don't exist. Good luck graduating.

  43. To Linda P. on December 4th, 2009 7:47 pm

    Really, Linda? Is this the message you want to send to people from out of state? If you think or say anything we don't agree with, we will put you in the mental hospital. Nice.

  44. God Bless ND on December 4th, 2009 8:03 pm

    JJ – Interesting article. I would love to take you for a tour of our great state during your next visit. You would get to see the quiet plains in the east and the rough badlands in the west. We have a couple national parks that some of my fellow North Dakotans have listed and some entertaining tourist attractions. I could also take you to a Fighting Sioux hockey game and show you this state's 7 time NCAA championship team. As you can tell, North Dakotans are very proud of where they come from. Most of the people that live here had ancestors settle the area in the early 1900s so that is many generations farming the same land. I have lived in a few different regions of North Dakota and have to tell you that this is definately the best place to grow up, raise a family, and retire. If you don't plan on visiting again, our feelings won't be hurt, but you are always more than welcome.

  45. abaum on December 4th, 2009 8:09 pm

    Well, well, well, I would hope this is just a spoof or satire. If not, I feel very sorry for this moron. Not only is this ridiculous, but this article is completely unsupported by fact. It is just bad news writing. As an editor, writer, and resident of ND, I must say that this is possibly the worst example of writing ever.

  46. NDUS Instructor on December 4th, 2009 8:29 pm

    really? This is the worst writing you've ever seen? I agree it's not great, but I wish I could send you some of the writing I have to endure from my college-level students.

  47. CHILLpeople on December 4th, 2009 8:17 pm

    CHILL PEOPLE. He was just kidding and it was a very funny and well-written article. You all need to calm down and realize a good quality, funny article when you read one. Really.

  48. Grah on December 4th, 2009 8:58 pm

    Funny, yes. Well written, no.

  49. jarann on December 4th, 2009 8:42 pm

    i think your article is funny. you showed a lot of creativity and skill. good job

  50. LivinInND on December 4th, 2009 8:47 pm

    okay now this is the reason why we dont want everyone to know about North Dakota, because unfortunately idiots like you would figure out how great our state is and ruin it for everyone! I have lived in North Dakota my whole life and love it….i dont have to put up with completely brainless fools such as yourself here…..please dont come here to experience our state, you can stay in Connecticut ffor the safety of the IQ levels of the people of North Dakota….you just might rub off on us because of how extremely dim you truly are….you couldnt last one single second in the middle of our winters so dont act like youre superb compared to us….and believe me ND does exist, how the hell could someone hide a 340 mile long and 211 mile wide state….in fact when you look at the numbers, ND is twice as big as Connecticut you imbecile! So you can just go ahead and get off your high horse…don't even bother apologizing or deleting your post…no matter what you do we will still know that youre a feeble-minded moron.

  51. Mel on December 4th, 2009 8:53 pm

    Interesting piece of fiction. Get a map and say no to drugs.

  52. Grah on December 4th, 2009 8:56 pm

    Makes me wonder what they teach in high schools these days.

  53. SEEA on December 4th, 2009 9:08 pm

    I'm sorry no one in North Dakota has a sense of humor!!!!!

    I live here and it sucks. I'm not going to lie

  54. NDsucks:) on December 4th, 2009 9:09 pm

    Haha so true! My family as well went on a roadtrip, pleanty to do in every state…BUT north dakota. lol. and the people there who are commenting on this seem to be a little slow in the brain….they are trying to argue that there are things to do there. oh cool….low unemployment?
    people, he is talking about things to do there that makes it important, not you dumb people inhabiting the barron land.
    Its called an opinion artlice. and he uses sarcasm. stop freaking, pricks.

  55. NDalltheway on December 5th, 2009 4:42 am

    Are you ten? You may laugh at low unemployment now, but when you move out of state and can't get a job good luck 🙂 We're also the only state without a deficit-someday when you grow up you might appreciate that…

  56. farmgirl on December 10th, 2009 4:46 pm

    Referring to your statement "dumb people inhabiting barren land". Hopefully you never have to go hungry, because for your information those of us living on this land produce much of the food this country eats.

    I did find the original article humorous. I haven't lost my sense of humor, even if it is below zero today. But it doesn't stay that cold all winter. There have been many winters where we wore light jackets in January.

  57. HaveSomeLoveForJJ on December 4th, 2009 9:41 pm

    Hey, cut JJ some slack. It was pretty cute, and certainly not the first nor last time ND has been made fun of. I tend to agree with "Fargo." Let them think what they want. In today's economy, we could probably buy Connecticut if we really wanted it. I prefer to keep it that way.

  58. staffwriter, nd on December 9th, 2009 10:01 pm

    Agreed I actually think there are more millionaires per capita in north Dakota than any other state!
    My recent post Anonymous – My Nemesis

  59. PTD on December 4th, 2009 9:49 pm

    Ugh, these commenters make me wish North Dakota didn't exist. If it didn't, I wouldn't have to be from the same state as these people… I mean seriously… Anyway, if you want to see what north dakota is really like, you should come visit like Conan did….

  60. hometown ND on December 4th, 2009 9:55 pm

    Funny article! One thing that has been remembered time and time again is that North Dakota is home to almost 700,000 proud people– plus college student residents! It's probably not the best idea to tick them off. However, for the level of writing you are at, it's decent. Good thing one of the things that ND people are proud of is their sense of humor! I mean heck…what would you do if you had 6 months + of winter?

  61. Tyler on December 4th, 2009 9:58 pm

    Can you call poe on an article? Well idc, it's definitely a poe…(I hope at least) and quite amusing. I must say I laughed pretty hard!

  62. Stranger on December 4th, 2009 10:12 pm

    guys honestly, its a joke, well written and i commend this kid for working up the courage to write something like this. its hilarious and how many jokes have been put on different states and countries…so take a joke and laugh with it not get mad, there's no use.

  63. guest on December 4th, 2009 10:13 pm

    Not gonna lie, I found this a little funny. I actually chuckled. I am also from North Dakota.

    On the other side of things, making fun of any state saying it doesn't exist implies that the people don't exist. Just like any other place, there are people who have been born and raised in the nothingness that is North Dakota, and that, to them, is home.

    In order to make this article more funny, I would have taken historical facts about North Dakota and make fun of them. Those of us who are from ND know the story of Lewis and Clark backwards, forwards, upside down, and flipped in the air, since we were taught their story since the beginning of time, and it would have added a few more chuckles to the story to make fun of Lewis and Clark. (As we do often.)

    And there ARE upsides to this beautiful state of mine, such as some of the best dance teams in the nation (West Fargo Packatahnas) and beautiful drives through the badlands.

    I'd do a follow up humor piece about how great the state of North Dakota is. As I've learned from being a journalism major at Northwestern College, it's better to be sarcastic in a positive way rather than in a negative way…less chance of offending your readers that way.

  64. Burley Barnett on December 4th, 2009 10:26 pm

    I live in Fargo and I find this amazing. You will find that most North Dakotans can't take a joke.

  65. Kristyn on December 4th, 2009 10:38 pm

    I have lived in ND for 25 years. If you think that this is true, you really should not be allowed to graduate because people should not be this stupid. I sincerely hope this was some kind of writing assignment that you had to make something up for. If you give me your address, I will send you a letter, it will have a North Dakota postmark on it.

  66. Alien Captive of ND on December 5th, 2009 11:24 pm

    Don't do it JJ!!! She's clearly an alien who will only kidnap you for Area 51 experiments!!!

  67. Unimpressed on December 4th, 2009 10:39 pm

    This is completely inaccurate. Why would you post this publicly? It makes you look completely uneducated and you look like a huge jerk. Not impressed to say the least.

  68. D. Johnson on December 4th, 2009 6:47 pm

    Well written opinion article. My apologies on behalf of the previous posters. Not all North Dakotans are as uneducated as their posts may elude. I applaud you on this well-written OPINION article for your HIGH SCHOOL's newspaper. I also note that you are a graduate of 2012, putting you somewhere in the neighborhood of 15-16 years old. The illustration by Mr. Baron is a good example of parody and farse as well.

    Thank you for exhibiting your freedom of speech. Keep writing, and don't worry about the ignorant voices of those who totally missed the humor in your article.

    D. Johnson, NDSU '05

  69. KLG on December 4th, 2009 9:17 pm

    I agree with D. And I'll add that we NoDakans rather enjoy our invisibility–a gift bestowed upon us by our other-worldly ancestors (sort of like a cloaking device, ala Star Trek, but much more advanced).

    KLG, UND '00

  70. That_One_Guy on December 4th, 2009 10:48 pm

    um ya your point has no meaning and im sorry to tell you this, but being 12 years old and blogging about a state that actually is famous for alot of stufff is dumb… well best of luck to you! 

  71. jjj on December 4th, 2009 10:57 pm

    Remember when it was discussed that they were going to change the name to just "Dakota" because north discouraged people from visiting/moving there. Must be pretty desireable of a place to live if you need to consider a name change.

  72. TheTRUTH on December 4th, 2009 11:01 pm

    Do NOT believe what the others may say. "North Dakota" is a conspiracy and a cover-up of what happened during the Cold War.

  73. NDHuman on December 4th, 2009 7:15 pm

    Oh No! Not Humor! And on the Internet no less! Horrendous! I'm sitting in ND right now (or am I?), and I definitely laughed. Lighten up guys.

  74. JenJenK on December 5th, 2009 6:05 am

    Agreed…pretty sure this girl was joking, and as a North Dakotan, the less people who know about us the better. Why do you think our unemployment rate is so low? Why we have such a low crime rate? Keep the riff raff out!

  75. Mike on December 4th, 2009 11:27 pm

    Congrats ND! We are smaller than a football field according to JJ! Ok, this might have been funny if you talked about how cold it is or some of our weird traditions or something. But saying we have area 51?? That's not even funny. P.S. Ever heard of Phil Jackson, Roger Maris, Lute Olson?? Wonder where they're from?

  76. A guy in a lady wig on December 10th, 2009 2:02 am

    I've actually never heard of those people. But then again, I am intolerant.

  77. Lara on December 5th, 2009 12:05 am

    I agree that it is frustrating to have North Dakota cast in a negative light by people that have never really seen it, especially when I love this state and have lived here all my life. But this is a high school kid, and this article was obviously meant to be funny, so ease up.

  78. Fargo on December 4th, 2009 8:36 pm

    Yes you are right North Dakota Does Not Exist…..please never come looking for it……

  79. vegas on December 5th, 2009 12:39 am

    1 you have no arguement and must of been failed in school considering your arguement is completly stupid hmmm lets think one of the most winniest college hocky teams UND is from north dakots 2nd NDSU was in the march maddness bball tourney last year and for an illeterate idiot like you that means north dakota state university also area 51 one is nevead not vegas you imbosole you do realize that vegas is only a small part of nevada which is the state it is located in plus i have driven past the area 51 facility and it was clearly in nevada so next time you decide to submit a story as stupid as yours got do some more drugs and yyoull forget alll about because obviously you flunked out of school for some reason

  80. NDND on December 5th, 2009 1:07 am

    im guessin you thought it was only 50 miles wide because you were 11 and fell asleep for a good 3-4 hours… ND definatly exists i liver here but intersetingly enough ive heard the same myth before

  81. Corinne on December 5th, 2009 1:46 am

    Hey so I actually know this kid, and he's totally not an idiot. He meant for this column to be a harmless joke, there's really no need to take it so personally. I am actually really surprised that anybody past Connecticut even found this web page in the first place.

  82. Yollanda on December 5th, 2009 1:51 am

    Well I have to say that I ABSOLUTELY LOVE NORTH DAKOTA!!! I currently live in Florida but I go home and yes North Dakota is MY HOME every year. You obviously have never stopped at the the different places they have to offer. The history that is there is so amazing! I think you'r parents need to make a better trip through a great state. I think you will find so many people in the US that have been to North Dakota and can tell you great stories and how friendly they are. But it is also known as the windy state so be careful when you get out of a car because this state can blow you away! So before you write a report please do more research and get the facts straight and visit the tours they have and visit the beautiful lakes and open your eyes look around because animals are every where. Please do a little more research and have the facts because you really dont know what your missing! I love Harvey North Dakota!!

  83. Lisa on December 5th, 2009 2:46 am

    Wow, this is spectacular. Happy early Holidays Inklings. What an incredible amount attention for a high school paper, even if it is all coming from North Dakota (of all places?!)

  84. Chill Out on December 5th, 2009 4:04 am

    I think people are really over-reacting to this. It's a cute, funny anecdote written by a sixteen-year-old for their high school newspaper, not the ninety-nine theses. All your North Dakota residents need to calm down.

  85. Natasha on December 5th, 2009 4:44 am

    Seriously! you are 13,what do you know, you have been brainwashed in your little state. Visit North Dakota once.

  86. Le Spaceman on December 5th, 2009 4:50 am

    J.J., I support your thesis 100 per cent! North Dakota does not in fact exist! (North Dakotans hang with me on this one) Be sure to tell all your friends on the coast and whomever you know who thinks like you your theories. North Dakota would prefer to not have any loony tune imigration in the near future. I beleive the kind of ideas you espouse and the nonsensical rhetoric you call journalism are right at home where you are currently situated. Please never leave and if you happen to be driving through North Dakota on your way to Canada, please ignore our state, there is no vacancy here for you or your ilk.

  87. Jacob Niemeier on December 5th, 2009 5:05 am


    I'm sure you've heard it all by now about your article, and I want to let you know that I think your article was a success. As my high school's former senior editor, I know how part of an editorial's purpose in high schools' papers is to get readers to react and respond. Well, you did it. Congrats. I agree with some of the previous posts in that North Dakota has a lot to offer, but I also think that the person who spread word of your editorial was completely blind of your intention. I don't believe you meant to harshly insult North Dakotans, just play up the silly stereotypes like all states have. I enjoyed your article.

  88. Garrett on December 5th, 2009 5:21 am

    ok listen here little one i have lived in North Dakota my whole life and I'm pretty sure that me and all of my friends are not aliens and this is not some Area 51 cover up like you think it is. And lets think about this really quick North Dakota has the Badlands and Medora….. and I'm pretty sure that everyone knows about both of those. And i agree with whoever posted the last comment lets bring this idiot to ND during the winter and see how he likes it.

  89. NDalltheway on December 5th, 2009 4:34 am

    He put this on the internet-how can you possibly think no one would find it? North Dakota has so many negative but totally false sterotypes that it really upsets us when people say things like he did. Its hurtful and rude. No one from North Dakota would ever refer to Connecticut that way, and we don't appreciate being represented in such a negative light.

  90. Rebecca on December 25th, 2011 10:16 pm

    Well put.
    Thank you from a fellow North Dakotan.

  91. Chris on January 10th, 2012 10:01 pm

    That’s probably because Connecticut exists

  92. Jane on December 5th, 2009 6:59 pm

    I'd just like to say that most of the people I've met while going to school in ND have been nice and friendly people. Sorry for all of the posts that don't reflect that attitude. I have to say I am surprised to hear so many rude and inconsiderate voices on this over a humorous OPINION article.

  93. UND Student on December 5th, 2009 7:20 pm

    I think its quite possible you might of slept through ND it may take 4-6 hours from the SD boarder to Canada. Though your like 15-16 years old… you'd think that a 15-16 year old would know that ND DOES exist. Um hello? Every map would be wrong if it was only 50 miles from SD to Canada. So obviously your HS must not do state reports? Or have proper maps? have you ever GOOGLED ND? Maybe you should of before you wrote this and made yourself look dumb… very very dumb. You'd find that A. its a lot bigger than you think… B. WE DO NOT ride horse and buggy, yes we see porches, lambo's, and Corvettes every once in a while. Its not like we live in BFE. So good opinion but sorry, in this case your OPINION is wrong. Basically if you say ND doesn't exist its like saying that California will soon fall off the United States into the Ocean…. Ha. Google that one. I don't mean to be rude or mean to a poor 15/16 year old but seriously…. COME ON!!!!! Rhode Island is smaller than we are land mass wise! there are actually quite a few states that are a lot smaller land mass wise in the US. Population yeah it may be small but if you think that SD exists then obviously so does ND cause they're pretty much the same Population wise and land mass wise.

  94. UND Student on December 5th, 2009 7:23 pm

    OH!! and PS.
    Ever heard of Josh Duhamel? Stacy Ferguson's (FERGIE)'s Husband? HE'S originally From MINOT NORTH DAKOTA.
    Unless you don't know who Fergie is either…. then maybe Staples HS is in BFE. And Amish?
    Sorry kid… this shouldn't of been put on the web.

  95. Jeremy Olson on December 5th, 2009 8:37 pm

    i would also like to put into words, that north dakota is actually one of the most efficient states in the United States, while all these states are struggling with an economic crisis, north dakota is actually in the GREEN, not in the RED such as states as California. North Dakota is a vast region that obviously if were nothing? idk why we would be profitting all this money and have a rate of high employeement. maybe conneticut needs to spend more money on education?? Cause obvoiuosly if this kid thinks this, they musn't be learning very much lol… good job conneticut! i wish u all the best!

  96. Team Edward on December 5th, 2009 5:20 pm

    I am pretty sure 80% of this high school's student body has probably seen "Twilight" and "New Moon", I wonder if they know that one of the best looking Cullen's is from DICKINSON, ND? That's right, Kellan Lutz aka Emmet Cullen is from our fair state. So now when they drool over him in theatre, they are actually drooling over a piece of North Dakota!

  97. Danielle on December 6th, 2009 3:31 am

    Okay.. well this is a bunch of crap because I actually live in North Dakota! We are way longer than 50 ft. and we are no alien research center or whatever the heck you think. I think you must have been drunk or something to miss the "Welcome to North Dakota" sign, because we arent just a little strip of land. We have some of the best colleges here in North Dakota, and well we are frickin awesome up here! So i think you maybe need to take a trip again and actually see that we arent no alien watchers! GOD BLESS FREAKIN NORTH DAKOTA!

  98. ItellYA on December 6th, 2009 8:53 am

    You may not think ND exists but im pretty sure I've lived here for 20 years. Look at the bright side your states broke ours has a surplus in money right now.

  99. NDbornNbread on December 6th, 2009 9:06 pm

    Where do I start. You are a complete idiot, and I truly feel bad for you and your family. North Dakota is acutally one of the greatest placed to live in the country. Besides the winter weather, I wouldn't complain about a damn thing. Lets see you spend over 20+ winters in 40 below zero weather, tough guy. We don't worry about hurricanes, earthquakes, tropical storms or ignorant ass 15 year olds who bash other states. We are probably the hardest working, nicest people that you've never met. I bet you are suprised so many North Dakotans replied, being as you probably thought we didn't have or know what computers where. And we have interenet, cell phones, ipods, big ass trucks and beautiful women!! I truly, sincerely invite you to actually visit here sometime, and you will truly, sincerely feel like a complete and utter idiot.

  100. Spell Check, Please on January 12th, 2010 11:28 pm

    **one of the greatest places to live in the country.

    Hopefully the education system has improved over your 20+ winters spent there.

  101. JuJu on December 6th, 2009 10:22 pm

    I find this funny, I'm from Oregon and go to school in Jamestown, there may not be that much fun stuff in ND and it's cold as hell, But the job force is good helping me get my credit back… good story, less aliens more truth next time

  102. MSB on December 7th, 2009 3:05 am

    Would you look at this. I believe the next column should be titled: Small Man Incites Web Riot In Imaginary Place

    "Guys I thought the N in ND stood for Narnia…go figure"

  103. NDAmbassador on December 7th, 2009 1:20 am

    There are many different ways I could approach this, but I have one question to ask: Why did you choose North Dakota out of all the states? Given the current state of our nation right now, it doesn’t make sense to say that one of the few states with a budget surplus and such a low unemployment rate doesn’t exist. It would be unfortunate if ND really didn’t exist; the rest of America would not have an example to inspire them to believe that America will be just fine if we work hard. I understand the idea of opinion pieces, trust me, but this was not humorous, unlike the Michael Moore mockumentary someone referenced. I laughed so much watching that; this piece, I was just appalled. You were trying to prove ND doesn’t exist, well, the exact opposite happened. We North Dakotans are a quiet few, but say something bad about our home and we’ll instantly defend our good name.

  104. Micka on December 7th, 2009 4:57 pm

    My Granddaughter at Jamestown College in ND thought this was really funny

  105. cmonmeow on December 7th, 2009 5:24 pm

    wow…come on people. im from north dakota and I think this is hilarious. everyone that is getting pissed at the person that wrote this needs to chill out. its a joke…I think.

  106. ND Blogger on December 7th, 2009 10:24 pm

    I wanted to let you know I blogged a response to your article. I hope you enjoy it.
    My recent post I Believe that North Dakota Does Not Have a Sense of Humor

  107. Sara on December 7th, 2009 10:36 pm

    You should probably get some facts about North Dakota before hand. If North Dakota ever decided to pull away from the United States. It would have the most nuclear power. I agree with Mel. Theodore Roosevelt loved North Dakota. HAVE U EVER HEARD OF THE FIGHTING SIOUX HOCKEY TEAM…you obviously are totally out of it.

  108. Chris on January 10th, 2012 10:05 pm

    Believe it or not, I have not heard of the fighting Sioux hockey team.

  109. Jasmynn on December 7th, 2009 11:35 pm

    seriously, did you not hear about our oil boom? and what about your eleven year old story… you know damn well it wasnt no fifty miles.

  110. lol@nd on December 8th, 2009 1:06 am

    This is awesome – read the response the ND department of commerce had to this:

    Youth Forward Partners:

    I would like to inform you about a high school blog post that was written today by a high school sophomore in Connecticut. It’s a “spoof story” that does not depict North Dakota in a positive light. I would like to encourage all students and advocates to take a few minutes and post a response about the great things that you love about North Dakota. If you have a great photo or video on flickr or youtube that you can point to that will give people a visual for how great this state is, go for it! If you could send me the comments you post, I would greatly appreciate it.

    Youth are working hard to change perceptions about North Dakota. Find out more at and follow us on Facebook and Twitter. Come and play…we’ll talk about how to stay, right here in North Dakota!

    It's ridiculous, a government agency is actually concerned about a blog post.

    I've been to ND. There is nothing there. It's a place you have to drive through.

  111. Sara on December 9th, 2009 5:26 pm

    ppl move to nd to live…everyone else is suffering because of job shortages and stuff..while us,north dakotans are living normal because we have resources other states need and dont have..

  112. NDSUfan on December 12th, 2009 3:14 am

    I agree–I'm damn proud of our state!

  113. @rlj_cookie on December 8th, 2009 7:01 am

    I adored this article, and laughed all the way through it.

    Come on, people, lighten up. He's obviously kidding.

    It's so darn cute. I love it!

  114. hmm..yes on December 8th, 2009 1:27 pm

    Guys, relax, you're acting like North Dakota is a real state.

  115. staffwriter, nd on December 9th, 2009 9:54 pm

    I'd like to know what props you received from your fellow editor and classmates for getting such an avid response on your "spoof" article. You certainly generated quite the response from the public out this direction!
    My recent post Anonymous – My Nemesis

  116. Alex on December 9th, 2009 11:41 pm

    Nice Story, Mr. McCaw

  117. Chiggles on December 9th, 2009 11:43 pm

    this is a terrible article, and Im from connecticut. how can you disrespect a state like that? this is arbitrary and obstinate foolishness and is in no way humorous.

  118. 'TIS ME on December 10th, 2009 12:14 am


  119. guest on December 10th, 2009 2:35 pm

    north dakota is a lie

  120. scotter2012 on February 4th, 2010 8:15 pm

    so if ND is a lie…then are you trying to say phil jackson is a lie? I do believe he is the head coach of the los angeles lakers. and is Jimmy Kleinsasser of the minnesota vikings a lie too? i do believe is currently the vikings starting tight end. you know…for the team that almost made it to the super bowl 2010 (should be their in my opinion but anyways). have you ever heard of daren ernsted of jamestown ND? have you been to ND? maybe you should come check it out before you say it's a lie. now if you are referring to this article…then yes, it is very much so a lie, but not ND. there is no area 51 here either, but ND is one of the most powerful states when it comes to nuclear power. We are about one of the only 50 states that could separate from the rest of the united states and still be able to defend ourselves. yeah it might be cold, but MN, MT, and plenty of other states are just as cold. did you know that just a couple years ago, there was a stretch where the temperature was over 110 degrees F. Maybe you need to open your eyes before you talk about ND

  121. StillInND on December 10th, 2009 7:47 pm

    I am from ND and thought the article was entertaining. Entertaining AND familiar. Seems the writer may have forgotten to cite his/her sources:

  122. Krist Erickson on December 13th, 2009 6:40 am

    Well I grew up in North Daktoa and moved out of state to see if I could find greener pastures. Well it turns out NO I couldn't. Here I am back in North Dakota and 7 years loving it. This is one of the few states left that you can have the choice to have an urban or rual life. Although our largest metropolitans are not in the millions, they offer many of the same luxuries. Our education system, altough under paid produces more graduating students on a based on a percentage status. If North Dakota didn't exist well you better be prepared to starve and start peddling your bike to school. Our ranchers and farmers play a vital role in keeping the food chain supplied. The engergy that come from North Dakota is a leader. We have the most effecient and cleaniest coal producing plants, and excellent move in wind energy, and talk about oil and natural gas. I am going to guess that you probably where playing your Xbox in your familys car when you went to ND. Because even though it may seem bare, you have no idea what you where drving past.

  123. ND Tourism Division on December 14th, 2009 5:00 pm

    North Dakota has been recognized by Cambridge University as the friendliest state in the U.S. In keeping with our tradition of hospitality, I’d like to extend a personal invitation for you to visit and experience the 39th state. Here, your quests for adventure and discovery can be truly realized.

    Are you daring? We challenge you to break the record for mountain-biking the famed Maah Daah Hey Trail in less than 17-hours. Love the outdoors? There’s horseback riding, birding, fishing, hunting, and more. Here you can golf on courses that are affordable, beautiful and built by talents like Arnold Palmer. Shop-a-holic? We can pair you with Canadian friends who visit North Dakota frequently for shopping, dining and gut-wrenching hockey games. Love concerts? North Dakota is one of the few places in the country right now still selling-out venues.

  124. ND Tourism Division on December 14th, 2009 5:01 pm

    Like history? In North Dakota you can go back millions of years exploring artifacts on dino digs or in museums. You can see where Custer lived … before he went to Montana. You can experience American Indian culture and even camp in an earthlodge. And we can’t forget about winter. Like the snow? We’ve got 3,900 miles of snowmobile trails, four ski parks and options for snow-shoeing and cross-country skiing. You could even try snow-kiting. (It’s like parasailing, only you are the boat with the kite on your back.)

    Of course, if a North Dakota adventure can’t fit on the calendar right now – we’ll invite you to visit your local grocery store and pick up some Giant Sunflower Seeds or Dreamfields pasta. Or just pick up some McDonalds French fries and you’ve gotten your first taste of North Dakota.

  125. moshy882 on December 18th, 2009 12:52 pm

    I actually feel sorry for the kid. I’m not even bothered that he wrote this article about ND, I would feel the same way if he wrote this about any state. I feel sad for him because he probably doesn’t understand anything beyond the borders of his town. Ignorance leads to closed mindedness, and we have too much of that in our world. People often make jokes about things they don’t understand and I’m assuming this isn’t the first time this boy has done this, either in verbal or written word. I hope after high school he will gain some knowledge about the world and the people in it. I would suggest making an attempt to remove this from the web before applying to colleges, as administrators will most likely see through the attempt at humor straight to the ignorance.

  126. Callie on December 19th, 2009 5:14 pm

    WOW!! I have to agree, what a idiot! I feel very sorry for the person who wrote this awful article!!! They know nothing about the state and have very poor, if any, judgement!! Grow up!

  127. guest on December 23rd, 2009 1:34 am

    north dakota is a joke

  128. allie on December 27th, 2009 3:56 am

    nice plagiarism
    think of your own conspiracy

  129. Thundering Herd on January 21st, 2010 3:17 am

    Seriously??!! For all of you who think this punk's thoughts are original.

  130. maxi on February 15th, 2010 3:28 pm

    I’m going to try to go to ND in May of this year. I’ll let you know if it is real.


  131. Talia on October 26th, 2010 1:04 am

    Ummm…I’ve lived in North Dakota since I was born… 🙂 pretty sure it exists haha..Fun fact: North Dakota holds the geographical center of North America…So if North Dakota didn’t exist, neither would the center of North, North America would have to be nonexistent as well….Sorry guys..cute idea though 😉

  132. ex-northdakotan on February 15th, 2010 5:46 pm

    ok people i lived in North Dakota for 8 years. I now live in Montana and have for the last 5 years. When i think about those 8 years though, i am wondering if they ever even existed. It is like the government came and planted these memories in my head so that they can say North Dakota existed. Now that i live in montana, i can truely say that this is a WAY better state. the one good thing about north dakota is you can see the UND hockey team play from dickinson. Im pretty sure if you stand on a pop can in north dakota you can see the Rocky Mountains. Wanna know why its always so windy there? Cause North Dakota blows.

  133. Talia on October 26th, 2010 1:06 am

    actually its windy because Montana sucks, and Minnesota blows..way to botch it kiddo

  134. ex-northdakotan on February 15th, 2010 5:52 pm

    Did you hear about the North Dakotan who tried to blow up a bus?
    He burned his lips on the exhaust.

  135. Area 51 Representative on February 15th, 2010 5:53 pm

    How many UND freshmen does it take to change a lightbulb?

    None. That’s the sophomore course.

  136. james on February 17th, 2010 3:13 pm

    wait, really? an article written by a 15 year old trying to be funny (and failing miserably might i add) has the most comments on this entire website?

  137. John on February 25th, 2010 8:49 pm

    JJ this is the most retarded article i have ever read IN MY LIFE not only does it not make any sense, but Las vegas does not take up the entire state of Nevada, its about 7% of the state, but has more than 60% of the state’s population, so that would make nevada a very good place for area 51 because everything is all in one area

  138. delilah on March 27th, 2010 5:25 pm

    Conspiracy! there is no ND!

  139. i hate non believers on March 30th, 2010 10:18 am



    I DON’T ENJOY YOU PEOPLE!! LEAVE THIS COUNTRY!! if you know all OUR states, you should leave. lolz jk jk just learn:)

  140. i hate non believers on March 31st, 2010 1:35 pm

    I’m glad you think we’re nothing…

    way to care

  141. i hate non believers on March 31st, 2010 1:37 pm

    delilah shall be wrong!

  142. Bob on April 14th, 2010 9:44 am

    North Dakota is a complete lie. I tried to go there and ended up in the middle of Canada. It is really annoying to have such a lie of a state, as it is not fair to the myhtical people who live there.

  143. Joe Biden on April 19th, 2010 3:53 pm

    wow! it all makes sense now! Dick Cheney is from North Dakota! Darth Vader of Area51! holey moley! Now, what about Alaska?

  144. eric muldoon on May 7th, 2010 2:09 pm

    It is obviously not meant to be considered as a serious skit, folks..Go to the Library of Congress website and cross reference the ratifying of the Dakota Territory, having been taken from the original inhabitants, and the admission of the Dakotas to the union..Just check the written record and you will see the real facts..BTW plz don’t secede from the Union, ND. You’ll have more nukes than Kazakhstan!! Peace from the center of Ohio…

  145. Sabrina on May 7th, 2010 6:07 pm

    Im from ND and im pretty sure that im not an alien and you guys must be an idot 2 think that and I was born here in ND and lived in williston ND and seosons are so good

    U guy R idiots

  146. Jb on May 15th, 2010 12:04 pm

    I live in north Dakota..
    I have lived here for almost fourteen years

  147. Mallory on June 28th, 2010 5:17 pm

    umm i am in ND right now you big idiot so maybe your parent tought you that there is only 49 states but thewre is 50 and one of them is ND so shut you pie hole!

  148. Tiffany on August 2nd, 2010 6:04 pm

    I KNEW IT! Thank you for clearing this up for me! you are AWESOME!

  149. Salvatore on November 22nd, 2010 8:59 pm

    uhm, do you honestly believe yourself and this guy? I live in MANDAN, NORTH DAKOTA. We exist.

  150. North Dakotan on December 13th, 2010 10:47 pm

    Dude! me too!!

  151. SOKO on May 10th, 2011 5:28 pm

    Whoop! go mandan!! 😀

  152. Kaitlynn on August 17th, 2010 12:59 am

    Nope, there is a ND. I live there. We just happen to be a small hick state that nobody really cares about. Or are we…. 😉

  153. ND girl on August 23rd, 2010 12:10 pm

    If ND doesnt exsist then you wouldnt have over half the crap you have, and if you dont want nd to be part of the usa then north dakota could and would become the (i think) 6th most powerful country (somewear around 5-7 place) so have fun being bomed by the russians if nd isnt a state in the usa

  154. Nellie on October 6th, 2010 11:47 am

    hahaha! ur funny x) good point

  155. Get over yourselves on September 2nd, 2010 8:04 am

    I am pretty sure that North Dakota wouldn’t become the 6th most powerful country so maybe the North Dakota school systems are actualy failing you, CT schools have not failed JJ. And have the rest of you read you comments? Dried Peas that’s what ND offers and you are trying to glorify it. Get over yourselves and move on.

  156. SOKO on May 19th, 2011 12:05 pm

    haha…dude…we have nuclear warheads here. we supply you with healthy grains ^.^

  157. ND_EXISTS_GIRL_17 on May 22nd, 2011 12:43 am

    You know why they say things like this? They’re jealous of us! YES, EVERYONE! BE JEALOUS! ^.^ They only wish they could be as cool as we are. 🙂

  158. Voice of Reason on September 13th, 2011 8:48 pm

    Nuclear warhead and the power to use them?!!!?! hahahaha
    it was a joke guys get over it

  159. tyler on September 5th, 2010 8:49 pm

    My father is from and still lives in North Dakota and i beleive you sir are retarded

  160. Nellie on October 6th, 2010 11:45 am

    yeah so, im 14 and ive lived in North Dakota my whole life. theres a lot of places here: Grand Forks, Devils Lake, Bismarck, Fargo…North Dakota is acctually bigger than New York, just has a lower population, so i dont think this article makes any sense, and it makes me wonder what other garbage we believe that we read on the internet…

  161. jon on October 14th, 2010 6:36 pm

    what about right field south dekoda? i am going to google earth it to find what i am looking for
    a map. don’t ask don’t tell!

  162. McDiver on November 1st, 2010 6:49 pm

    oh boy…haha…i’ve lived in North Dakota all my life and i just found out yesterday that people actually believe it doesn’t exist…so i feel like i should point out the fact that if North Dakota separated from the Union, it would be the third greatest military power in the world because of our weapons. It’s a fact, believe it or not. This is possibly where the whole “Area 51 in ND” started. North Dakota also leads all other states in the production of barley and sunflower seeds and is a leader in the production of flaxseed. Also, we provide much of Americas oil. The Bakken? yep. that’s us

  163. shane on December 28th, 2010 7:21 pm

    Dont forget we’re also the leaders in wheat and honey.

  164. Hannah on November 18th, 2010 11:26 pm

    Excuse me, how much weed have you been smoking recently? If you really think that North dakota isn’t a state, then how am I sitting here, at my very HIGH TECH computer i might add, typing this comment? Wow. You are VERY DUMB!! I live in Mandan and I probably wil never leave this state because it is probably the best (and most B.A.) state ever. I am probably guessing you are a 40 year old man living in your parents basement with a beer belly with no friends and nothing to do. Thats probably why you are sitting there typing the biggest lie I have ever seen in my life. Thank you for entertaining me with your bull crap.

  165. ND_EXISTS_GIRL_17 on May 22nd, 2011 12:46 am

    Nah, even his mommy and daddy don’t want him sitting their basement writing this. He’s sitting in his little cardboard box in their driveway. 🙂 P.S. GO MANDAN!! 🙂

  166. Salvatore on November 22nd, 2010 8:55 pm

    ??? North Dakota exists people. Sorry to ruin your bubble. I’ve lived here my whole life. If North Dakota doesn’t exist, does that mean I don’t exist??? Sad. I’ve heard people say that nobody famous has ever come out of North Dakota. Some of you may be familiar with The Twilight Saga movies. The gentleman that plays Emmett, the lead vampire’s “brother”, was born in Jamestown, North Dakota. If the state doesn’t exist, neither does he and neither do I which means that this message and any other from any other ND resident who saw this do not exist. What a pitiful non-existence! 🙁

  167. A North Dakotan on February 9th, 2011 7:17 pm

    actually h was born in Dickinson North Dakota… but same thing. His grandparents live in Jamestown…. but yah xD sorry I’m a Twinerd.

  168. SOKO on May 19th, 2011 12:09 pm

    Josh Duhamel was from ND. he’s married to fergie 😀

  169. Henry on December 14th, 2010 6:10 pm

    I like how people still comment on this even though Julian graduated two years ago

  170. Ben Platt on January 1st, 2011 1:33 pm

    he graduates in one year

  171. Kitty on December 31st, 2010 2:40 am

    Hi there! I’ve lived in North Dakota for 16 years, PRETTY sure it exists. For the people who say it’s a small 50 foot bordered state, we’re the 19th largest state out of 50. Count the flag, 50 stars and one of those is for the amazing state of North Dakota. We’re not all that empty either we have big towns like Fargo. There is no Area 51 that I’ve seen, and yes I know it exists. I’m not some alien or mind controlled freak. North Dakota is like one of the two states who ISN’T in debt so take that! :):) I <3 ND!

  172. SOKO on May 19th, 2011 12:10 pm


  173. A friend of the author's on January 2nd, 2011 1:03 am

    Honestly, it’s so sad that people can’t detect the sarcasm dripping off this piece. Are you serious, all you people who rant and scream that, of course, North Dakota exists? Of course he knows it exists! This is a playful, silly piece that I actually think is quite well-written. For those of you who scold the author, you should definitely remember to take your helmet and crayons the next time you leave the house.

  174. A North Dakotan on February 9th, 2011 7:24 pm

    I’m sorry sir but your friend shouldn’t even be posting crap like this.

  175. SOKO on May 19th, 2011 12:21 pm

    bud, this is text. i legitimately cant see the sarcasm in that post… >.>

  176. ND_EXISTS_GIRL_17 on May 22nd, 2011 12:51 am

    You can get over yourself, too, good sir/ma’am. How do we know you aren’t the author using a fake screen name? What do you say to that????? I agree with SOKO: This is text. I can’t see sarcasm either. I though you can only hear sarcasm…… O.o

  177. Chris on January 10th, 2012 10:25 pm

    @ND_exists I like the calling out of @afriend. He, as a friend of the author, or really just as a person on the internet on a site with open commenting really has no right to say anything. I mean really, a literate person trying to improve the understanding of an article? How dare he. The nerve. Also, people usually go with “madame” when the do the sir/madame thing. Oh and @soko, see the patronizing tone of this comment? The fact that I’m being ironic when I talk about his right to comment? That’s sarcasm. Technically it’s called verbal irony, but most people just refer to it as sarcasm.

  178. Dylan Chadwick on January 28th, 2011 12:34 am

    i live in North Dakota, and by the way, we are the only state in the U.S. that has a good enough economy to break away from the U.S. and survive. So thanks for not believing in us.

  179. North Dakota Girl! on January 28th, 2011 12:35 am

    You are retarded!! Seriously grow up! Are you even real should be a better question cause does anyone even know you?

  180. jj on February 5th, 2011 6:15 pm

    Damn it people! north dakhota exists! I lived here for 14 years and living here right now. I travelled pretty much every were around this state but to be honest there is some erie places and old abanded missile silos in very remote areas, Theis is also minot airforce base and grandforks airforce base.

  181. A North Dakotan on February 9th, 2011 7:07 pm

    Um please understand that North Dakota has been a state for quite a few years. It became the 39th state on November 2nd 1889. We have oil, and wheat and hidden bombs. So if you rednecks will keep believing we’re a conspiracy we’ll separate from America and blow your heads off. Not like you were using them. I hope you know that we have the peace gardens right before Canada, and your lying to all these people. So stfu and acyt your age. Thank you very much.

    ~pissed off North Dakotan

  182. Sam on February 9th, 2011 11:22 pm

    Something needs to be said and I’m tired of waiting for someone else to do it. See, if this article had been written about New York not existing, nobody would have cared. Any New Yorker would have looked at it and brushed it off because it is clearly, and without a doubt, a joke.

    Now, the fact that this is written about North Dakota should not make a difference. However, North Dakotans have nothing better to do than prove that their state exists, so debacle came about. When you keep on commenting and overreacting over something like this, it only poses more trouble for you in the future, where eventually somebody else will write a similar piece to this. An easy solution would have been to stop commenting, but now that this article is the proud owner of more than 120 comments, I can guarantee that there will be another “North Dakota does not exist” column sometime in the near future.

    And just as a side note to North Dakotans: nobody cares that you’re one of the biggest produces of wheat, grain, edible flax, et cetera. so you can stop trying to use those statistics to try to prove that you’re more of a state than you were before you commented.

  183. ND_EXISTS_GIRL_17 on May 22nd, 2011 12:58 am

    I have something to say, too. Go on Google. You will find other articles claiming we do not exist. Maybe we’re just sick and tired of people trashing us. Nobody would write something like this about New York because you never hear anyone say that NY doesn’t exist. We all know someone who has been there. We’re trying to prove a point by saying we don’t exist. We’re saying stfu and leave us alone because we do exist and we’re f**ing sick of being told we don’t and hearing we don’t. There are seriously people who think we don’t exist and this just sticks that in their minds further, and it’s stupid. Say we overreacted and/or are overreacting to this article. We don’t want to be told we don’t exist, and we don’t want future generations thinking we don’t. We do have a hard time keeping people here that we need. So STFU and get off of your soap box, and I’ll get off of mine. Some people take it as a joke. Some people do believe it. Who’s to say some of us aren’t reacting like this just to get people like you to throw a fit and overreact to what we’re saying?

  184. Katelyn on November 30th, 2011 6:39 pm

    QUESTION: How is this causing more problems for us in the future?? Just saying.

  185. Henry on May 16th, 2011 7:51 pm

    The only people defending North Dakota are from North Dakota….that speaks for itself. So it’s resolved North Dakota Sucks and everyone in it are prissy little girls who can’t take a joke. Seriously this is an article by a high schooler in CONNECTICUT, not the Time. Get.Over.It

  186. ND_EXISTS_GIRL_17 on May 22nd, 2011 12:39 am

    Ok if ND doesn’t exist, neither do I, and I’m pretty sure I exist. I’ve lived here since the day I was born. It exists. And to the little punk who wrote this article: you are not funny. If you saw a “Welcome to Canada” sign, you were probably close to Canada. Did you ever think of that? Maybe you just missed the drive through ND. Maybe someone was being a jerk. Or, maybe, you’re lying to the entire internet. My money is on that last one. You think you’re convincing, and you aren’t. Give it up, and go take a geography class.

  187. Henry on May 22nd, 2011 10:50 pm

    OMG ur lyke SO kewl. Seriously go get a brain. News flash NO ONE CARES AT ALL. North Dakota is one of the least populated states with nothing going for it. The rest of the country forgets it exist 99% of the time. You should be glad that your sorry state has at least this article which was written…….2 years ago. Seriously grow up your only making people hate your state that much more.

  188. Kimberly on November 16th, 2011 6:43 pm

    i believe north dakota is the richest state, we have the best economy too. thank you very much!

  189. Rebecca on December 25th, 2011 10:12 pm

    You are an idiot also. We are the richest state in the USA right now. Although we don’t have tons of people, it means that everybody has more of their own space, and people actually know their neighbors. We also have far less crime then any other state.
    You say that most people forget that even exist. We don’t care! It’s better for us, because then no one bothers us!
    Plus, nobody has any reason whatsoever to hate us.
    P.S. Try using proper spelling and grammer next time. It would make you seem like less of an idiot.

  190. Tyler on April 2nd, 2016 12:21 am

    Yeah the American eduction system has gone to shit North Dakota produces over half the food you eat every day so instead of fucking telling us to shut up you should be fucking thanking us for working our asses off so stuck up assholes like you can eat!

  191. Laurie K on May 22nd, 2011 1:41 pm

    I’ve lived in Bismarck, ND (the capital of North Dakota) my whole life, if it doesnt exist I have no idea where I have been living the last 21 years!!

  192. Bob on June 2nd, 2011 4:43 pm

    I have lived in ND for 54 years. Or have I? Come to think of it…it may just be a “state” of mind.

  193. Johnny on June 2nd, 2011 4:49 pm

    If North Dakota seceded from the Union, it would be the world’s third strongest nuclear power. So be nice. Or we’ll blow you to smittherings!

  194. EricaA on February 15th, 2012 3:16 pm

    So first of all I’m from North Dakota. I go to Bismarck high. We do exist for your info. Where do you think all your oil comes from? Williston , ND is the top oil producing place in the U.S. you douche-canoes out they saying we don’t exist must have had a bad education. We are known for some of the top runners in the U.S. for high school. Also figure skate is really big too. Don’t go around saying we don’t exist until you know the real facts.

  195. Ethan Nelson on April 2nd, 2012 10:05 pm

    Strange how I have lived in North Dakota for 14 years and never noticed once that we were only 50 feet long and have a military base. I wish we did, because that would make a very good tourist attraction with all the aliens and stuff. Also I think your parents might have possibly played a trick on you.

  196. Ethan Nelson on April 2nd, 2012 10:09 pm

    I just looked at all of your comments and I am disgusted at how rude you guys are being, I mean seriously. We North Dakotans are supposed to be nice!

  197. Tyler on April 2nd, 2016 12:23 am

    We are until assholes like this piss us off then you’d better run because we will find you.

  198. Ethan Nelson on April 2nd, 2012 10:10 pm

    P.S. I like your picture, very creative.

  199. Kimmi on May 10th, 2012 4:08 pm

    I’m sorry to say but I kinda live In North Dakota. And I’m a human. I am pretty too. And If North Dakota didn’t exist South Dakota wouldn’t exist

  200. donald on June 7th, 2012 3:01 am

    i live in north dakota, also i used to live in pennsylvania and i can tell you, theonething ilove obout north dakota is the SNOW. i also love these websites.

  201. Ryan on June 8th, 2012 8:33 pm

    Wow, both hilarious and infuriating. We absolutely do exist, and there are about 600,000 of us last I checked. Do you eat beef or wear wool? You’re welcome.

  202. 2010 on June 17th, 2012 2:22 pm

    why is this incredibly idiotic article still getting comments. it’s been nearly three years.

  203. Noted on June 26th, 2012 7:42 pm

    The only thing that this article and its comments has proven is that while North Dakota does very much exist, its residents unfortunately do not seem to understand the concept of satirical journalism.

    We ought be careful next time we post something that entertains other readers just in case it might possibly offend a few people halfway across the country!

  204. An Informant on July 10th, 2012 2:12 am

    Damn. Looks like you got it all figured out. I’ve worked with the government in North Dakota for 60 Years now… I cannot take it any longer, I need to tell somebody the truth. You are correct, the government officials here have a super computer that has a government issue Spambot software. It can decode all things, and creates emails. It is programmed to make up these fake comments above me about our “state”. When I am executed, tell my family I love them.

  205. Nick Okafor on July 16th, 2012 1:24 am

    Man, I feel ya! I’ve been thinking the same thing for years. Finally, somebody speaks the truth. I’v never been there, and don’t know anyone from there. Well, I mean, it’s not like it’s a real state like Texas…

  206. Ryan on July 16th, 2012 1:26 am

    Hey, this writer has feelings too. He worked very hard and diligently to write this piece and to express his sentiments about the (should-be) absence of North Dakota in the United States. If you North Dakotans have anything negative to say to this young man, you should confront him in person instead of hiding yourself behind the wall that is the Internet.

  207. Tyler on April 2nd, 2016 12:26 am

    That’s kinda hard cause we don’t “exist”.

  208. Chelsea Hermanson on October 18th, 2012 3:08 am

    I think the article was written due to all the fame North Dakota was getting from the flooding and severe winter we had in 2009. North Dakota got more attention that year then ever before and all the flooding had been declared a National Disaster. I believe the author of this article was just trying to get some humor in the fact that no one really hears anything about us other than during that time.

    I am also a resident of North Dakota, born and raised, and still find this article comical. They obviously do not believe that North Dakota does not exist. And you can clearly tell that from when they write “I assume all of your answers are ‘no’ because if they aren’t, that kind of ruins my argument.”

  209. Dark1wolfox on November 6th, 2012 2:38 pm

    Um… we live here, stupid! And it’s just a 50 mile strip of land with nothing on it!?!?! What about all the towns!?!?

  210. Leah on October 21st, 2015 2:50 pm

    You’re getting a little salty about the nonexistence of North Dakota

  211. Bayley on March 26th, 2013 9:14 pm

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Thats funny! ND is actually a great place, I know because I live there!

  212. Leah on October 21st, 2015 2:49 pm

    I too believe that North Dakota is vv fake. It’s not real and it never has been. Thanks Obama.

  213. Tyler on April 2nd, 2016 12:28 am

    Than your a dumbass where do you think all your food comes from!

  214. North Dakota Resident on April 19th, 2016 12:01 pm

    You are a weedwacker!

  215. North Dakota Resident on April 19th, 2016 12:05 pm

    sorry tyler, i ment to say that to leah

  216. Very Mad North Dakota Resident on April 19th, 2016 12:36 pm

    You are wrong

  217. Angry North Dakotaian on April 19th, 2016 11:59 am

    I live in north datota it is not area 51!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

  218. North Dakota Resident on April 19th, 2016 12:00 pm

    I LIVE in North Dakota you idiot! Where did you get this information?!?! It is a lie!!!!!

  219. Angry North Dakotaian on April 19th, 2016 12:23 pm


  220. jake=derp on April 19th, 2016 12:33 pm

    Although your small brain may not process it very well, ND is real and is lead producer in many crops.

  221. Very Mad North Dakota Resident on April 19th, 2016 12:35 pm

    I live in North Dakota so it does exist. Have you ever heard of Fargo North Dakota? Well I have you meany. You are a jerk face. I live in North Dakota, so you are a big lier!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Red River Dance, Fargo, Bismarck, NDSU, UND, Grand Forks, Minot. Search up North Dakota on google. Look up Central Cass School please. Look on a map meany. Stop Being so rude.

  222. angry north dakota resedent on April 19th, 2016 12:37 pm

    NORTH DAKOTA DOES TO EXIST!!!!!!!!!!! This is very upsetting there is a place because many people happen to live here we are not just people that live in the ground we live on earth and we are proud to live here we don’t need butt holes telling people that we don’t live here and i have to agree with Tyler!!!! Where do you think our food comes waz bag!!!!!!! Please consider changing your facts!!!!! Have you ever heard of the Bison or the Fighting Sioux!!!!!!?????? Look on a friken map stupid because this place for real and you must have a mental issues!!!! If you google North Dakota you will find many, many, many facts on it!!!! Also all the people who agree you must not have a pretty good reason why because all the comments I read non of you have a good reason why you agree with this person!!!! You all are very stupid if you don’t know that North Dakota exists!!!!!!

  223. North Dakota is fakee on February 27th, 2018 2:40 pm

    North dakota isnt real. All these cmments saying saying it is, is clearly gov workers keeping up the fassad.

  224. Very Mad North Dakota Resident on December 9th, 2018 5:32 pm

    I’ve changed my mind. It’s taken me nine years to work out this part of my misunderstanding of the state I thought existed. It doesn’t. I’m sorry to everyone I misled.

  225. Bruce A Parsons on January 1st, 2019 9:32 pm

    Please, allow the author to have his opinion. North Dakota’s violent crime rate is 41% less than the national average, simply because we’ve grown up with morals and respect for our fellow man. It is only when people move here with different ideals than our own when we have trouble. That could be why most North Dakotans own firearms. Give us a reason to dislike you and, well, you’ll see . . . or should I say you WON’T be seeing anything anymore. 🙂 . . . This response could be as fictional as the original post, or maybe not. 🙂

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