Jake Peavy to Bring World Series to Cubs

by Jack Hennessy ’10

Jake Peavy = World Series. If you are wondering how I came to this solution, it’s really quite simple. The Transitive property.

For all of you a little rusty on them Geometry terms, the Transitive property can most easily be explained in simple variable terms.

If A = B, and B = C, then A = C.

Let me break it down for you. Don’t worry, we’ll derive the formula together. In this situation we’ll let Jake Peavy = ‘A’, Pitching (as in skillful pitchers) = ‘B’, and World Series =‘C. Now, as we all know, Jake Peavy has some serious skill. Granted, this past season he was merely average in the win-loss column, yet he did post an E.R.A sub- three. Also, in the three years prior to 2008, he struck out 200 plus batters. Playing for the National League Central champion cubs, Peavy’s record would reflect his performance. With the addition of Jake Peavy to the Chicago Cubs rotation, the Cubbies would have solid pitching, and arguably the best starting rotation in the National League.

A = B, Jake Peavy = Pitching

Next, everyone knows the importance of pitching. It’s indispensable. You cannot expect to do damage in the playoffs, let alone get in, if your pitching staff is weak. Should you not have confidence in the arms taking the mound for your team, you can kiss the possibility of a World Series ring good-bye. Pitching is undoubtedly the most important part of any ball club. Therefore without pitching, a World Series appearance will not happen.

B = C, Pitching = World Series.

Thus, thanks to my handy dandy Geometric formula, it’s easy to come to the conclusion that the Cubs are bound to reach the World Series this season if Peavy if the deal goes through and Peavy is acquired. You see, if ‘A’ equals ‘B’, and ‘B’ equals ‘C’, then ‘A’ must equal ‘C’. If Jake Peavy equals Pitching, and Pitching equals a World Series appearance, then Jake Peavy must equal a World Series appearance. And what team would he be on? That’s right, the Chicago Cubs. Irrefutable logic right there. (For everyone doubting my math skills out there, I have one suggestion…Don’t)

In all seriousness, Jake Peavy has ace-like potential. And, oh by the way, a couple other starting pitchers on the Cubs have that same potential. Some scrubs that go by the name of Zambrano, Harden, Dempster, and Lilly. Peavy rounds out the staff beautifully. If that’s not a rock solid staff, I don’t know what is.

Before I get too ahead of myself, I acknowledge I’m talking about the Cubs. World renowned for their ability to lose. So, although I comment on how improved they would become with the addition of Peavy, don’t worry, I’ve kept in mind that this team is a perennial loser. And it basically just means they will have to work a hell of a lot harder this year to not win.