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Senioritis: The Disease That’s Sweeping The Senior Class

Senioritis%3A+The+Disease+That%E2%80%99s+Sweeping+The+Senior+Class
Emma Rhoads

Once again, a blistering epi­demic has swept through the halls of SHS. As in past years, a shocking number of seniors have been felled by the rather debilitating affliction known as senioritis.

Its apparent cause appears to hinge on the completion of col­lege applications and entering the final semester of high school.

The symptoms of this disor­der are easy to detect. Inability to concentrate on anything school-related is the first obvious sign, and one that’s bound to make teachers grind their teeth.

But those with the dread­ful senioritis just have too much trouble staying focused when confronted with work. So just make sure you speak to them ex­tra loudly and perhaps threaten them a bit. That might help cut through the haze.

Another interesting symp­tom appears to be bladder control issues. When working with the afflicted, they tend to take long “bathroom” breaks. I would say there’s a 75% chance that if your senior leaves, they won’t be back for a good 10 minutes. No need to be worried for them, however. The afflicted seem magnetically drawn to one another, so there’s a good chance they can be found together. They’ve got each other’s backs.

I’ve also heard students men­tion that the victims show a clear lack of interest in doing most, if any, of their work. It appears, though, that this lack of interest is just an exaggerated form of procrastination, which is already a severe epidemic throughout students at Staples.

A sign the disease has reached an advanced stage is when the afflicted take on Zom­bie-like behavior, characterized by blank stares and a lack of par­ticipation in group work.

At this point, the senior be­comes mesmerized by his or her phone or laptop. Once those screens light up, there’s little chance that those seniors will be brought back to life. The Zombie stage is what causes the most harm to those free of the afflic­tion. This stage, with the seniors zoned out and less likely to par­ticipate, means that most of us younger students will be left with the bulk of the work

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About the Contributor
Olivia Kalb, A&E Editor

When Olivia Kalb ‘14 finds a spare moment, she cannot help but spend the time reading an enjoyable book. Although Kalb’s schedule has been booked tight lately college essays and the beginning of senior year, she still makes reading a priority in her life.

“I don’t really have a favorite [book] since I’m always finding new ones I adore, but my favorite genre is romance,” Kalb said. “I love falling into a story as I’m reading.”

However, in addition to adoring books, Kalb also enjoys writing short stories and creative nonfiction. She is very is cognizant of her surroundings, causing her to always be creating dialogues, characters, and stories in her head as she walks through the halls of Staples.

Kalb’s passion for writing was the reason she joined Inklings her junior year. However once part of the newspaper staff, she realized she was able to combine her love of reading and writing. Specifically, last May, after Kalb finished reading a novel, she in return wrote a review on it for Inklings.

Kalb will continue to read and write as she feels it is putting her on the path to success in life. “I have my whole life planned out,” Kalb said. “I want to be an editor for a New York Publisher.” While this may seem like a big dream, Kalb knows that Inklings is teaching her all the right skills for that lifestyle.

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