Ten Things New Kids Should (Or Shouldn’t) Know
Starting at Staples isn’t easy. However, with this list of more than helpful advice, you’ll make it through the day, no problem.
1. Bring a backpack with wheels.
It makes maneuvering up and down the crowded staircases much easier, and really helps you make friends in the hallways.
2. Avoid the common misconception that you have to sit in your grade’s supposed section of the cafeteria.
Sitting near the seniors is by far the best way to boost your popularity with the upperclassmen.
3. Make sure you’re the last one in the sandwich line.
You have to wait for good things.
4. Park in Senior Parking.
12th graders are extremely receptive to those who haven’t had to wait three years for an elite parking spot. Getting ticketed repeatedly only adds on to the excitement of seeing all of the angry faces “greet” you as you get out of your car.
5. Get behind in your classes.
It simply isn’t fun if you don’t procrastinate.
6. During transition time, walk up and down the left side of the stairs.
A few broken bones are most certainly worth the quality time you’ll get to spend with the floor.
7. Wear heels.
Heels are the ideal footwear for stairwells.
8. At the end of class, ask the teacher if there’s homework.
Ignore the glares.
9. Bring your sporting equipment to class.
People love being slammed by bags filled with baseball bats and the likely dead bodies athletes keep inside those massive things.
10. Hum in the bathroom.
I don’t know about you, but the only thing I want to hear when I’m emptying my bladder is the faint sound of “Barbie Girl” coming out of the mouth of the kid whose pants are unzipped right next to me.