Suburban Dictionary: Stein’s Top 14 Slang Phrases
As a writer, as a student, and as an individual, I have always been fascinated by language. However, there is one type of language that often goes unreported in official context.
This is slang.
I believe that it’s high time that some local slang definitions were formalized–or at least brought into the public forum. Thus, I would like to share a list that is very close to my heart: my 14 favorite words that appear in local slang.
Why 14? Because it is quite possible to be able to get through an entire school day while using nothing but these words.
1.) Boss (n, adj.)
A boss is an individual who is adept with at least three of the following skills: being chill to the point of being ice cold, doing whatever he or she wants, and making considerable sums of money, or bank.
She called in sick so she could bike off the side of Mount Everest and then win a grilling competition? What a boss!
2.) Goon (n.)
As an all-purpose noun, goon can interchangeably refer to an individual who is socially awkward, one who is a buddy or pal, or a knave or street fighter, perhaps employed by a boss. Depending on the situation, goon can thus be either a mild insult or a term of endearment. Whether the connotation is negative or positive, groups of goons are referred to as a Goon Squad.
“Steak for my birthday? Aw, come here, ya big goon!”
“You don’t want to owe Johnny lunch money. They say that he’ll brush it off for now, but come AP assassination, he’ll come to your house with some goons and a barrel of whoop-ass.”
3.) Grind (n.)
A grind is a sequence of events that is unpleasant, or interferes with an individual’s goal of living the dream.
“Your gym teacher assigned a written final? What a grind, man!”
4.) Thug (n.)
Thugs are a breed of humans who incorporate boss and goon characteristics.
Mike rides his bike 30 miles to work every day because he wants to do his part to conserve gasoline. He’s not an environmentalist—he’s a thug.
5.) Animal (n.)
An animal is an individual who, while in some respects is similar to a boss, simply cannot be restrained by the confines of law or normal social behavior.
“Alex ate an entire pizza and then smashed a cinderblock with his forehead? Someone put him back in his cage… he’s an animal!”
6.) Negative sense (interjection, noun)
Negative sense describes an event or scenario that is ludicrous or confounding, and by nature makes less than no sense.
“$7 for a small ice cream cone? I know this is Westport, but that just makes negative sense!”
7.) Dad (pejorative)
Originally a joke among current members of the class of 2013, “Dad” has emerged as a poignant response to a command made by a patronizing paternal figure.
Jim: “Before you leave the party, make sure to wash your hands. You know how dirty those basement floors can be!”
8.) Living the Dream (idiom)
“Living the Dream” is a universal phrase used to express joy towards one’s pursuit of perpetual dankery as he or she progresses through life. It requires no example.
9.) Tomfoolery (n.)
Tomfoolery is used to refer to actions of variably clever—or extremely dumb—shenanigans.
Ordering twenty pizzas for delivery to a house party that they were not invited to was certainly Danny’s most clever act of tomfoolery yet. However, his plan backfired when the guests decided to eat the pizzas in their entirety, like bosses.
10.) Violent (adj.)
Origins date back to the current class of 2014. “Violent” does NOT imply physical violence. Rather, “violent” is used to describe one who is flustered and not acting in a rational manner.
John: “Did you see Bill when his phone went off during class? I think that was a Lady Gaga ringtone.”
Larry: “Yeah, he stormed out of class and yelled at an innocent member of the Freshman class. How violent!”
11.) Dank (adj.)
Dank has been adopted into the mainstream to mean something that is of the utmost quality and is thus worthy of commendation.
In a school-wide vote, 100% of students favored the incorporation of caffeine into the school’s supply of drinking water, under the presumption that such an action would make their water fountain experiences sufficiently dank.
12.) Legend (n.)
A legend is a person who carries the perfect balance of courtesy, toughness, humor, and insanity.
“I just can’t believe that Eileen was able to skillfully drive a jet ski through a crowded intersection at noon. And the fact that she was able to convince the police that she had it registered as a commercial vehicle and avoid a ticket? Legendary.
13.) Swag (interjection, n.)
Swag is a word that embodies the manner in which a person carries himself or herself. Great accomplishments of any kind constitute swag up, or an increase in swag. Conversely, dropping bad pick-up lines, serving stale food, or dishing out an unwarranted insult constitutes swag down.
Mary’s choice to wear a neon orange Grateful Dead T-Shirt to shirt to school, along with bell-bottom pants, had a polarizing effect. While some of her friends teased her about it, a school administrator remarked in passing that her getup was swag.
14.) Classic (interjection)
Classic refers to the result of a scenario that is both entertaining and what was expected to happen.
“I bought a sandwich from the cafeteria today, but the cafeteria employees charged me for seven bags of potato chips. Classic mixup!”