After her disappointing performance in Eat, Pray, Love as a middle-aged divorcée, I was not very hopeful that Julia Roberts would be able to pull of the character of an evil queen in the new film Mirror Mirror. My sentiments were immediately confirmed as soon as her terrible attempt at an English accent came out of her mouth.

The target audience of the film is lost within the first twenty minutes, as most of the jokes are based off of the humor of a middle-aged woman. For example, the queen’s reflection tells her she has wrinkles which causes her to endure a facial made of parrot-excrements and various repulsive larvae. After this repulsive scene, the conflict kicks into high gear when the queen—who happens to be broke—decides to throw a lavish ball with the tax money she wrongfully collects from her townspeople. All this, of course, is for the sole purpose of courting the prince who is at least 30 years her minor.

The propriety of this movie is further dwindled by the introduction to the seven dwarfs, who are not sleepy, happy, nor dopey, but rather multiethnic, middle-aged, and donning facial hair. These little men befriend Snow White, one of whom is sexually attracted to her, and prepare her for the fight against the prince who repeatedly spears her in the behind—an awkwardly flirtatious scene. “Did you not learn enough from your spankings?” he asks her. To make matters worse, there is an undertone of sexism. The prince makes proclamations such as “I can’t fight you because you’re a girl.”

The big twist on the conventional fairy tale ending is concentrated into a single line when Snow White dares to go out and fight “the beast” without the help of her prince. This did not come as a surprise to me, however, considering the entire concept of the movie was intended to be a spin on the story of Snow White.

My verdict? Don’t waste your time with this one.