I sat through a horrible halftime show and overdone commercials, was forced to explain a safety to a so-called football fan, and had to listen to an argument about whether Tom Brady or Eli Manning was cuter.

All that for nothing.

I’m not some upset Patriots fan looking to vent about how we would’ve won if tight end, Rob Gronkowski was healthy (you know it’s true), but recently, the Super Bowl has become bloated.

After the Black Eyed Peas’ train wreck of a halftime show with the Black Eyed Peas, Madonna headlined this year’s show featuring LMFAO, Nicki Minaj, M.I.A. (who flipped off America), and Cee Lo Green. The NFL quickly learned that several popular stars don’t necessarily make a performance better.

The halftime show awkwardly shifted from ancient Egyptians to cheerleaders to a marching band, and finally, a sci-fi choir, as pop was forcefully fused together with techno and rap.

Yet, somehow, 114 million people watched the halftime show, more than the 111.3 million that watched the actual game, making it the most watched Super Bowl halftime show in history. If Madonna got that many people to watch something that bad, I can’t wait till Justin Bieber performs next year!

One number that was down in comparison to last year’s Super Bowl was the attendance of the game. Over 30,000 fewer people attended this year’s Super Bowl than last year’s. Maybe people have finally learned that spending several thousand dollars on a ticket, no matter how good the seat is, isn’t worth it.

Spending $3.5 million to purchase the rip-off that was a 30 second commercial wasn’t worth it either. Especially if companies are releasing their ads prior to the game, the excitement that a Super Bowl commercial once had is now gone.

“Releasing ads prior to the Super Bowl doesn’t make sense,” said Ben Rogers ’15. “When people see ads multiple times, they get boring.”

If you only watch the Super Bowl for the halftime show and/or the ads, please don’t pretend like you know football and then ask, “Why can’t there be 12 players on the field?”

Go ahead and save yourself a few hours and just watch what you want online, because I don’t want to hear about how you think Tom Brady is a ten and Eli Manning is a seven.

            I was lied to.

Daily and without exception, I find myself roaming meaninglessly throughout the cafeteria for at least ten minutes hoping I’ll find something to eat that will not only be edible and taste good, but will actually keep me full for more than two hours.

Of course the first thing that will pop into the mind of whoever reads this is getting a sandwich. Let me say, I love when Amber makes me my Swiss and cheddar on ciabatta turbo-ed. But fifteen minutes waiting in line and ten anxiously awaiting my deliciously melted sandwich is just too much to do on a daily basis.

Then there’s the pizza. Yep, the one with enough grease to make a full batch of French fries. Or there’s the section of pizza rolls and burgers that are only allowed to be eaten by boys according to social laws. Or the salad bar, where students claim to find human hairs and other UFO (unidentified food objects) are found daily.  So, that pretty much rules every remotely filling food out.

Whoever can eat a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos or Cheetos and not hear their stomach growling one period later, power to them. However, personally, chips could never fill me up for a full day. Even when I attempted at being “healthy” by eating Cheerios for lunch one day, I had to go get saltines from the nurse’s office later.

I probably sound like a jaded, critical kid, but there are many among me that have struggled to find a lunch that does its job. “I’ve started bringing lunch to school because the cafeteria food is so bad,” said Siri Andrews ’13.

I think that if money was invested in buying another turbo machine and the sandwich line was expanded, getting a custom sandwich would be much more realistic. Also, if food was checked for quality (aka no random objects in it) before being put out, students would be much more inclined to eat the hot meals.

Until then, I’ll either be enjoying my signature sandwich and arrive five minutes late to chemistry or purchasing three bags of chips a lunch just to get me semi-full.

Catholic schools tend to be strict like that.

Break the rules and there will be consequences.

Don’t get me wrong, I completely respect catholic schools because I’m the person I am today thanks to the amazing education I received, but the differences between catholic and public schools are significant.

The most obvious difference is the emphasis placed on religion. At my grammar and middle schools, every person was Catholic.

I had never met a single Jew, Muslim, Buddhist, or Atheist.

If you weren’t Catholic, I didn’t know you.

We would constantly read about different cultures and religions, but that’s all it was. Words on a page.

Another difference was how we began each morning. Every day, before my classmates and I said the pledge and sang the national anthem, we recited a series of prayers during homeroom. But we always had to make sure to say them loud enough and with emotion. For example, if there were a painful event in a prayer, you would try to look like you were suffering too. And it didn’t matter that it was 8 a.m. and no one was awake yet. If you didn’t say the prayer properly, the teacher would make you go up to the front of the room and recite the entire prayer or song for the rest of the class’s entertainment.

During homeroom there was also a sort of inspection. My teachers were always able to somehow pick up on even the slightest violations.

Make a single mistake and you were handed an Infraction, which was a white piece of paper that you had to sign, your parents had to sign, and then your teacher got to hold on to as a sort of trophy.

Infractions could be allotted for any breach of policy and nothing spreads Jesus’ message like meaningless punishment.

Girls usually received infractions for wearing nail polish, improper footwear—apparently UGG moccasins don’t count as school shoes—or for wearing a colored shirt that could be seen through the uniform white button-up blouse.

The smarter girls wore extremely light colored shirts that were practically unnoticeable while the adventurous tried—and failed—wearing neon shirts.

Another infraction-worthy infringement was a skirt that was more than three inches above the knee. A pleated plaid skirt does not flatter anyone so we all figured, the less you could see, the better.

The most common technique was to pull the elastic band of the skirt up to your waist—or higher if you wanted to risk it—and wear your uniform sweater over it. Then, when a nun or other member of the staff came into view you could quickly pull the skirt down so that it was a perfect three inches about your knee.

But we couldn’t wear our sweaters on the hot days so we had to opt for the more dangerous route—roll up the skirt at your hips and pull your tucked-in shirt out over it.

If you made the skirt too short or raised your hand high enough that the teacher could see the rolls, she whipped out her ruler and measured it.

Boys usually got infractions for not wearing their ties correctly, for having hair that touched the collar of their shirt, or for failing to wear a brown or black belt.

But there were ways around receiving infractions and detentions. The simplest being complete your homework and don’t break the rules—but nobody did that.

Instead, we all tried to make our lives even more complicated by seeing how far we could go before getting an infraction. Due to the repressive environment, it was always interesting to see who could rack up the most violations without getting caught.

It really was a trial and error process.

While the boys in my class tried to see if they could roll up their sleeves in a pathetic attempt to look cool, the girls were all mastering the art of skirt rolling.

Staples is the exact opposite of my grammar and middle schools. I don’t have to fear being handed an Infraction or being dragged up to the front of the classroom to say the Pledge of Allegiance. Staples students are granted the freedom of expression and can state their opinions or ideas without the fear of punishment, which was not always the case at my school.

Now, I happily wear t-shirts and jeans to school and don’t have to worry about being punished. And every time I wear UGGs or nail polish, I can’t help but smile.

At Staples High School there are four dances for the junior and senior classes; Counties and Red and Whites take place in January while Junior and Senior Prom happens during the last couple months of school.

This means that at this time of the year, right when students come back from December break, anxiety and stress levels are rising and preparations for the big weekend are in full swing.

If you’re not accustomed to a Westport dance you’re probably wondering why preparing for a dance is such a process.  There is a simple answer to your query: in the 06880 we like everything bigger, better, louder and longer.

Bigger? How about a 30 passenger party bus costing upwards of $1000.

Better? A prettier designer dress than the girl standing next to you.

Louder? Publicly disclosing every lavish detail of your plans.

Longer? Pre-pictures with hor dourves, then the actual dance, and a four-hour long after party to follow.

The senior class has done it all before. They had to stress out about finding a group and an after party and picking out what dress to wear last year for Counties, and now they’re doing it all again.  In just a couple days they will be attending Red and Whites.

As for juniors like me, the whole thing is kind of new to us. There was a Facebook group started in September for all the junior girls where individuals were to write who their date were and to post their dresses to make sure that nobody had the same one.

Then on top of that there were smaller Facebook groups created for groups of 15 to thirty friends to organize a party bus to transport to the dance, pictures before the dance, and the after party.  All of that preparation for one night

If we were in another school in a different state I don’t think we would be doing anywhere near as much preparation as students at Staples do. What ever happened to the classic “10 Things I Hate About You” prom scene where Joey picks up Bianca from her house and they drive away in his sports car? Compared to everything we do now… it’s ridiculous.

In its current form, the bill allows the Department of Justice to shut down any website that  they determine to be hosting copyrighted material. While the bill’s cosponsors continuously say that the bill would only be applied to foreign websites, the language of the bill is vague enough to allow for widespread censorship under future administrations.

However, even though I am opposed to SOPA and any other bill that limits free speech online, I also oppose the blackout that Wikipedia is imposing upon itself on Wednesday to protest the bill.

How can I be so two-sided?

Well, I have an AP US History midterm on Thursday, and I have no idea where my textbook is.

I’ve looked everywhere for the thing: under my bed, in my desk drawers and even in every bookshelf in my house. It is nowhere to be found. I don’t even know what the name of the book is, although I am pretty sure it has the word “American” in the title.

This is probably because I haven’t used the textbook all semester, and haven’t had to touch a history textbook since freshman year. It’s all thanks to Wikipedia.

When I am studying for an exam and need to get some additional facts about a battle, I could do two things. I could either find my textbook, open the index, search for the right term, flip to the correct pages and hope that the author included everything I need, or I could just open up Wikipedia and type in “Battle of Gettysburg.”

Without Wikipedia, I, along with many of my fellow students, will not be able to study for our midterms as efficiently as I could, and my grades could suffer.

In the days since Wikipedia announced its plans, I have witnessed panic amongst the student body. Some students have resigned themselves to failure. Some have started taking screenshots of the pages they need. One of my friends even tried to download Wikipedia in its entirety (this is possible, and the file is just over 30 gigabytes).

So what does Jimmy Wales, the founder of Wikipedia, have to say about all this student stress?

“Do your homework early,” Wales said in a statement to the press.

Something tells me that statement won’t resonate with the culture of cramming at Staples.

I understand that Wikipedia is fearful of the impact of this legislation, and I think there is some honor in their protest, but it really isn’t necessary. From the beginning, SOPA has had a very low chance of even seeing a vote on the floor of Congress, let alone passing. Representative Paul Ryan, a major Republican leader in the House of Representatives, has come out against it. Many other high-profile political leaders have expressed concerns. After a public outcry, sponsors of the bill plan on taking out the legislation’s most controversial provisions, making it much less threatening. Even if it does pass, the Obama administration has all but promised to veto it.

Wikipedia is freaking out over nothing. Congressmen are always introducing crazy laws that have no chance of passing. Our Senator, Joe Lieberman, tried to pass a bill giving the President a “kill switch” on the Internet. Ron Paul tried to pass a bill banning courts from taking cases about abortion.  Ever year someone tries to ban flag burning. There was even a bill brought up in Congress to establish National Train Day as a federally recognized holiday.

Our legislative system is designed to be chaotic so that these crazy bills never have a chance of passing. Through the convoluted process of committees and cloture, the insane side of American politics is supressed.

If every company in America freaked out over these types of bills, our country would collapse. Companies don’t stop providing their services as a protest because there are better ways of making a point without hurting consumers that have nothing to do with the passage of the legislation.

If Congress introduced a bill banning tomatoes, Subway would not stop using tomatoes for a day. They would make the best sandwich with tomatoes that they could make and remind Americans how delicious tomatoes are.

So, I’m asking the staff at Wikipedia to calm down and slowly back away from their servers. We wouldn’t want to see anyone’s GPA get hurt.

Click here to read an alternative viewpoint.

It’s easy to dismiss it as borderline crazy legislation that could never pass- and I’d feel the same way except… well, it isn’t.  It’s main sponsor, Lamar Smith, is very firmly behind it, and with almost a hundred million dollars invested in lobbying for it, I’d say the RIAA and Hollywood are too.  Add to that the fact that the bill has 12 co-sponsors (thanks, Wikipedia) all of whom are going to support it, and this is potentially very, very bad.

The key here, however, is what SOPA does.  It’s not legislation that will stop piracy- it’s just allowing content owners, members of a very small industry group, the right to without due process target and effectively eliminate any site that might host or link to hosting of illegal content by going after US based DNS servers.  What does that do?  Well, it doesn’t quite make it impossible to reach the sites or download content, it just makes it harder for your computer to find it- but it does destroy the multinational framework that is the internet today.

I think the best analogy I’ve heard for what SOPA would do goes like this- if illegal content is the crackhouses and brothels of a ghetto neighborhood, SOPA isn’t sending the police in to kick down doors and clean up the streets.  SOPA is taking down all the road signs so that anyone wandering through can’t find their way to anything relevant- not only does affect anyone on the same street as any of these places, but also anyone going through.  It’s not helpful, and it’s antithetical to the way the internet works.

Now, is Wikipedias measure a little extreme? Shutting down the sixth most visited site on the internet will make waves- but that’s the point.  Nothing has ever been effectively protested without disrupting somebodies day.  For Eric, it may mean finding a textbook- but for a lot of others it will mean actually being forced to learn about what’s going on in the current political system- where special interests have pushed legislation to the floor that threatens the existence of the internet as we know it- especially sites like Wikipedia.

So- going offline for twenty four hours, a tiny fraction of its twelve year existence, in order to protest it’s potential complete shut down?  I say bring it on.  If the blackout brings attention to this legislation and the threat it poses (and it’s not nearly as outlandish as it sounds- it has bipartisan support in both the house and the senate), then it’s worth it.  That, and between not being able to link between articles, and reddit being down through midnight tomorrow, I might actually get some midterm studying done.  Maybe.

Click here for an alternative viewpoint.

Starting on Wednesday January 18, students get to arrive at school half an hour later than normal for their first test of the day, which starts at 8:00. Despite the fact that the thing to follow may be an impossible AP exam or a foreign language test, the midterm schedule makes your week much easier.

You begin your day with your first two-hour exam followed by a half hour break in between tests. This break is a perfect time to go to the cafeteria and get a bagel or a muffin to fuel your brain. For those who decided not to study for their second exam, it is the perfect time to cram.

With two exams done and a huge weight off your shoulders, the midterm schedule allows you to leave school two hours earlier than you would on a normal day. Those who have an easy exam schedule in the day to follow can spend their time catching up on sleep or hanging out with friends. For those who are less fortunate, this time can be used to study or see a teacher for extra help.

One of the biggest benefits of the midterm schedule, in my opinion, is that the last exam ends right in time for lunch. Even though the school does not offer lunch in the cafeteria, there is sometimes pizza from a local restaurant in the cafeteria. If pizzas not your thing you have the freedom to get whatever you want from wherever you want because schools out! After all, no teenager can go a day without food, even during midterms.

Although exams are known for being stressful and tiring, the schedule we have for these tests at Staples makes the whole process more enjoyable. It can be easy for students to complain about the whole testing process but I am sure they wouldn’t appreciate full days of school instead.

To some—particularly boys—this sounds unbelievably silly. “It’s just a dance.” “Not a big deal.” But hear me out.

This will be the first dance that I have ever attended. There was a devastating cancellation of my middle school graduation dance, and an even worse discontinuation of Homecoming dances two years before I arrived at Staples.

Throw in the fact that proms here are solely for upperclassmen, and you’ve got many years of anticipation building up for Jan. 20.

From the images of the elegant ball in “Beauty and the Beast” to the exciting prom scene in “High School Musical 3”, I guess you could say that I have pretty high expectations. Even when Gabriella couldn’t go to prom, Troy still drove 1,000 miles in a broken-down truck to be with her! Cue the girlish squeals. Talk about romantic.

Dances are a big deal for a girl, even if it’s not her very first. And you can bet that we’ll all be waiting on the edge of our seats to see whether or not the years of waiting will be worth it.

But there’s one thing that can guarantee a disappointment: a bad date.

Unfortunately, Disney movies and Ryan Gosling have given girls a bit of an optimistic view on how boys should be, how they should look and talk and act. We’re not going to be ridiculous; we don’t want you to pull up with a horse and carriage (although it’s not completely out of the question).  We just want our nights to be unforgettable.

But don’t fret. Staples boys, there’s still hope. You can still be the topic of discussion the next day as being the best date ever, which I’m sure is every guy’s dream. If it’s not, it is now. That’s lesson one.

You play a big role in making sure that dances, particularly the upcoming Counties, fulfill the dreams of “a night to remember.” We know you’re no Superman, but you should all be able to pull off at least the bare minimum of proper conduct. That’s not optional.

Horror stories of your date chasing another girl or completely ignoring you haunt the gossip circles of upperclassmen ladies. So here’s everything you need to know about your own personal dance Code of Conduct. Colin, you should be reading this.

1. Act like you care. Look, we know you’re not particularly interested in making sure the tie and the corsage match, or all the planning that went into finding the right bus. But if you are blatant about your lack of enthusiasm, you may as well have not shown up at all. We definitely don’t want to hear you complain about being “dragged” there, like my senior friend did last year. Smile for the pictures and be polite to our parents. It’ll make a big difference.

2. Look nice. On this most sacred of days, spend a little more time than the standard 14 seconds on your hair. Straighten up a bit. Spray some cologne. Even the most basic hygienic efforts can go a long way, and I guarantee that your date will appreciate it. And yes, tuxedos are required.

3. Pay attention. You cannot even begin to fathom how many hours we spent searching for the perfect dress and styling every last strand of our hair. The amount we spent on just the right dress that fits just the right way? For some of us, up to $600. How much does it cost to get your hair done professionally? At least $130. A last minute mani-pedi? Usually around $50.

Your date appreciating all this effort? Priceless.

There’s nothing worse than finally arriving at the dance and having your date pay more attention to the food than to you, like my other friend’s experience at Counties. “There were a bunch of couples and they were being really cute and my date was totally neglecting me,” she said. Don’t let your other friends show you up—be a gentleman.

4. Just play along. Surprised to see a bright pink bus pulling up? Has your date’s mom cried for the third time? Disappointed at the quality of decorations in the venue? It all comes with the territory. Just grin and bear it, and maybe you’ll even enjoy yourself.

Most of this should, I hope, be common sense. Follow these tips, and you’ll be sure to be a highlight of your date’s night. And hey, you never know. You could end up having just as much fun as her.

This year will be my 3^rd time taking midterms, and my 7^th time taking any sort of semester exam. I don’t want to say that I have the art of midterms down cold, but I do know a lot more than I did as a freshman.

Yes, it can seem overwhelming thinking about the fact that you have around five or six exams to take over the course of four days. But in reality, it’s only as stressful as you make it. Easier said than done, I know. However, there is some truth behind this motto. The more that you put into freaking out about how much material you need to review or how horrible the test will be, the more stressed you will actually become. The key is organization.

1. Dump everything out. Absolutely everything. It’ll look like your binder just threw up.

2. Separate any key worksheets, important notes (throw out the doodles), and all tests into three slightly neat piles.

3. Put these into a folder.

4. Take a break, grab a sandwich, go on Facebook and Twitter for half an hour (no longer than that).

5. Take out the folder, sit where you can work most efficiently and start from the beginning.

6. Take breaks every 30 minutes, unless you are on a roll and feel like you can keep going through the hour.

7. Repeat these steps for the remaining 5 classes over the course of the week.

Yes, this is a simple procedure, but done routinely for every class, it will actually ease your stress and make things feel a lot more manageable.

While students feel pressured to study days and days in advance, I have found what is most successful is only taking on the two classes you have the next day. Certainly do not study only one day in advance, but do not worry about the last exam you have before you have taken the first one. I have Calculus and Physics the first day, so I will I have been most successful when I am able to focus in on one or two subjects at a time. It eliminates stress and makes exams seem a little more like an average quiz.

How much time should you spend on each class? Never more then four hours in total; there is such a thing as over-preparing. Again, each test is two hours, meaning that it won’t cover topics in as much detail as when you did the actual unit. It is important that you understand major topics as opposed to attempting to memorize every type of problem that your teacher could throw at you.

Above all, the most important thing to acing midterms is sleep. Not just five hours but eight or nine. If you stay up until 3:00 a.m. all of that time spent studying rather than sleeping will go to waste. If you can barely keep your eyes open during the exam, you certainly will not be able to focus and get the grade. I have stayed up all night, getting maybe two hours of sleep, thinking that because I studied for seven hours I would know everything. Well, I didn’t, and you won’t either. It was only during the exam that I realized that after 2:00 a.m. I didn’t retain anything.

Organize and sleep. Do that, and you’re sure to make it through without a breakdown.

Lunch.

As I sit at the table in the junior section of the cafeteria, I pull my green and navy flowery lunchbox out of my backpack, and open the tinfoil covering my sandwich.

Right as I am about to take my first bite, however, I look around to see backpacks, not friends, on all the seats around me. I become      immediately embarrassed, my face turning bright red, my mind reeling: What are people thinking about the girl sitting all alone? I drop my sandwich back on the tinfoil and scurry away from the empty table into the cafeteria to find my friends who are buying a school lunch.

Walking through the cafeteria, I push through hordes of people who knock into my backpack and reach for food in front of my face. On my way to the sandwich line, I must maneuver my way through the never-ending line, pushing my way through the tiny gaps between groups of people.

I finally spot some friends and proceed to spend 15 minutes waiting for them to get their toasted paninis. The table finally fills up enough for me to feel comfortable to sit down. With half of lunchtime gone, I am able to chow down on my long-awaited PB&J.

As I sit eating my lunch, people ask me why I use plastic bags to bring my apple and carrots every day, why I even own that lunchbox, meant maybe for a kindergartener.

Should I bring my lunch in a brown paper bag? I think not.

As I eat my home-packed lunch, people sometimes ask me how early I need to wake up to be able to make lunch in the morning.

I proceed to answer that while I eat breakfast every morning, my mom sits at the kitchen table with me and makes my lunch. In elementary school when I didn’t even know how to make a sandwich, my mom would of course pack my lunch every morning.

Eleven years later, we have yet to change this routine.

I have been one of the only kids to bring my lunch to school every day since elementary school. I know that as a proud owner of a lunchbox, I fall within the vast minority of juniors in high school. In fact, according to the Census Bureau, 31.3 million children in public schools buy their lunch from the school cafeteria each month.

Even so, bringing lunch to school makes sense to me. Despite being chided for my lunchbox, I save so much money. It costs the average person $1,025, to buy lunch every day for the school year, according to David Bass of Education Next. For me, it costs $3.75 for a loaf of bread, $4 for a jar of peanut butter, and $2 for the jelly. The bread lasts at least a week, while the peanut butter and jelly usually last more than a month. This totals to about $220 for the year, allowing me to save about $800 each school year.

Also, my mom has mastered the art of making my lunch. The proportion of peanut butter to jelly is perfect, the bread never gets soggy, the apple is never brown. It always tastes exactly the same, never failing in its deliciousness.

Most importantly, how could I bear to do away with my lunchbox? I definitely couldn’t and no one can change my mind on that.